D' Bouncy Ninja Egg

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

2011-07-24T23:20:00.003+08:00

The decision to go to Vietnam was when I read about Cu Chi tunnels in Vietnam (more about that later) sometime ago. I thought crawling through narrow, suffocating tunnels sounded fun and it came close to War Museum in Penang which I loved! The initial plan was only to visit Vietnam, but later I learnt about the Khmer Rouge regime and decided I wanted to learn about the genocide (whether or not it was a genocide is debatable) that killed more than two million Cambodians in the 1970s. Due to time constraints, we changed our itinerary a bit but we covered Phnom Penh (Cambodia) - Siem Reap - Chau Doc (Mekong Delta, Vietnam) - Can Tho - Ho Chi Minh City (Vietnam).

Our lifesaver!

We departed from Kuala Lumpur on 10th July and landed in Phnom Penh. Out of the few cities that we travelled to, Phnom Penh was the city that we liked least, no thanks to the deceiving tuk-tuk drivers we met. A few of them were okay, but most of them were not. Well, we only took 4-5 rides on tuk-tuks?

On the tuk-tuk whom the driver blatantly asked for tips. Pfft!

Nevertheless, this capital encapsulates what happened between 1975 and 1979 when screaming soldiers took over the city, mass deported peasants to the countryside and started the four-year Khmer Rouge regime. Over two million people were killed. The Khmer Rouge government arrested, tortured and eventually executed anyone suspected of belonging to its "enemies". Most of these "enemies", till their last breath, didn't even realise what they did wrong.

The stupa at the Killing Fields of Choeung Ek, in memorial of those who died under the Khmer Rouge regime.

Some 17,000 skulls are placed in the glass-covered stupa. This was just a mere representation as compared to the number who died. The skulls were categorized into their respective age groups, the youngest being 15 years old, oldest being 65.

Tuol Sleng Museum, also named S-21 Prison. It used to be a school until the Khmer Rouge government used it as a prison and an interrogation centre. Only 7 survived from this inhumane prison and 2 lived on to tell the story.

I was curious enough to buy a biography of Pol Pot, the mastermind behind Khmer Rouge (at just USD5, books in Cambodia and Vietnam are mad cheap! Even *fake* Lonely Planets!). Pol Pot, named Saloth Sar before he adopted his pseudonym, was a teacher and was said to be good-natured. I'm still halfway through the book, but the fact that people who knew him described him as a loving and gentle man, was unnerving. *shrugs* Nobody knows what he was thinking.

History lessons aside, we tried our ~~hands~~ mouths on fried critters - spiders, grasshoppers, beetles, frogs and the likes. Oh, and not forgetting duck foetus too!

Spiders, frogs, snakes, grasshoppers, maggots... what to buy?!

Grasshoppers were okay - provided that they are not huge! I swallowed the mini grasshopper without a second thought but the big one was… =S

Getting ready for the huuuuge grasshopper!

Nick and I stared at the 5cm long grasshopper, back at each other simultaneously, then back onto the dead creature. In the end I decided to pluck the wing off, just to taste. Neither of us dared to bite into the abdomen. And following closely behind are the black-coated beetles. Again, I made the first move and this time - for the head! The head of the beetle was hard, much like chewing onto a piece of thin plastic. Not pleasant at all! But the worst of all was the tiny maggot which I immediately spitted out upon taking the first bite! Mr. Ng did not have the courage to feast on the big grasshopper and beetles, but he was heroic enough to actually swallow a whole maggot! Disgusting much!

The duck fetus, surprisingly, was more acceptable. It wasn't the disturbing kind you see on Nat Geo documentaries where you can visibly see the features of the fetus. The one we got, was only an embryo.

Braced myself for the egg!

That meant, we couldn't exactly see the feathers. Plus, it was steamed before served. There was a little bit of meat in it, but most of it was yolk. We ate it with salt-pepper mix and lime which we find it a distinctive Cambodian taste.

Frankly speaking, it tasted like egg which is what it was! It was only the mental barrier that was stopping me from gobbling the egg. Nick liked it though, but he would never want to try it again. We both agreed that once is enough. D=

We were pleasantly surprised at the strong sense of community here. There was a park near the guesthouse we stayed in and every evening, regardless of the day of the week, there were always families, teens, children hanging out at the park. Or... people dancing to Para Para Sakura. Hehe.

See the crazy amount of people in the park? How often do you get this in Malaysia/Singapore? On a weekday?!

Also in Phnom Penh, I lost USD50! =( That's close to RM150 AAAAHHHHHHHH! I don't know how, but apparently the fifty-dollar note disappeared from my wallet and was never seen again. Sigh. Sometimes I don't know why my head is so big when there's nothing inside. =.=

And so, we shall end this post with a minute of silence for my lost note.

30DLBL Day 7-12

2011-05-16T13:15:00.000+08:00

Hello!

I'm not very sure which day is today, but due to other commitments, there are some days where I have to skip the task for the day.

30DLBL Day 7 - Creating An Action Plan

Day 7's task was to create an action plan for one of my most prioritised life goals. In Day 7, I started a project called Project 3P (Pretty Professional Portfolio). By the end of the project, as the name goes, I would have a Pretty Professional Portfolio! I'm giving myself six months to complete this, so the deadline would be November 2011.

This was a fairly easy task as I've already had the habit instilled (except for the fact that I don't complete my goals most of the time). Oh, speaking of which, I just reviewed the list of goals I have on the blog's side bar, and I've completed three of the goals - completing a full marathon by the age of 21, graduating with a CGPA of >3.5 and to be admitted to NTU in August this year! =D *gives myself a pat on the back* That meant my goals worked! Other than that, I've miserably failed two of the goals, heh.

~~GPA >3.5~~ Graduated with a CGPA of 3.686.
50kg by the end of 2009 Failed, as of today (May 2011), I've lost weight, but not significantly. Most of all, I still weigh above 50kg. =.=
45kg by the end of 2010 Failed big time!
~~Get into NTU in 2011~~ Achieved!
~~Complete a full marathon by 21~~ Yes! One of my proudest moments too. :)
Visit Taiwan by 23 Dropping this as I have changed my perspective on travelling
NYAA Gold by 25! Still working on it, need to be more persistent
Visit Japan by 25 Dropping this too

Compared to the life goals I've set few days ago, my goals have changed so much. Travelling to Japan and Taiwan is no longer top on the list, in fact, now I look forward to volunteering overseas. I guess luxurious trips like these can wait. Working holidays and volunteering abroad are my current priorities when it comes to travelling! I've also reflected on the way I set goals for myself on random occasions (when I have the sudden urge), I realised it's not exactly effective. What normally happens is that I'd enthusiastically set the goals, write them somewhere (in this case, my neglected blog) and forget about them the next day. So, today, I jotted down my (monthly) goals on my organizer, and the same thing will happen for subsequent months. One thing for sure, I won't abandon my organizer for years to come because (1) I have spent money on that tiny (A6, which is only a quarter of a piece of A4 paper) but expensive (for its size) leather-covered organizer (2) I don't like the organizer on my iPhone, it seems unreliable (for me) (3) the papers in the organizer is refillable (and again, very expensive)!

I'm planning to create a few more action plans for my other goals, one of them being completing NYAA Gold. I've been stuck for quite a while and now that I have the Residential Project section settled, it's gonna lighten the load so much!

30DLBL Day 8 - Assessing My To-Do List

Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? By the 80/20 rule, 20% of our inputs lead to 80% of our outputs. This means, only 20% of our daily tasks contributes to most of our achievements, self satisfaction, etc. This is a "More with Less" approach. Low input, high output. Day 8's task focuses on applying the 80/20 rule to our daily lives.

This was done yesterday when I was still having post-camp lethargy. Initially I only listed the tasks I've set for myself for the day - to plan for Cambodia/Vietnam trip, to complete the day's task for 30DLBL and to review my action plans, to take a nap (=.=), to register for AHM, chatting and the like. (Notice that Facebook was not mentioned. That's because I've been restricting my access to Facebook for the past week. It feels great.) These minute tasks were then categorised into 20% (high value, impactful) tasks and 80% (low value, time waster, even) tasks.

Throughout the day, I became increasingly conscious of what I was doing. I added activities into the sheet of paper I had in the morning to have an overview of what I was doing most of the time. I was spending most of my time on 80%. I spent 1.5 hour taking a nap, when I was supposed to take a half-hour power nap. To make myself feel better, I forced myself to do some work, which was a wasted effort. Instead of using the Internet wisely, I spent time reading blogs, reading comments, checking my mailbox excessively, etc. So, today, I listed everything that I have the tendency of doing, including time wasters. While I got enough rest and countered my lethargy, I didn't start the day on a high note today. I skipped my morning exercise because I was a little tired when I woke up. I'm off track for today's to-do list too.

I'm not going to feel guilty, so instead, I chose to do what I feel most inspired and now I'm back on track. Yay. Being aware of time wasters helped too.

30DLBL Day 12 - Declutter Your Space

Day 9-11 were meant to be breaks, so I took the liberty to start Day 12's task. The task for Day 12, which is today, requires us to declutter our space! Other than clearing out your workspace, the task also involves clearing out non-physical space such as mailbox, files/folders organisation, etc.

Well, my physical space is quite... easy. My room only consists of two plastic shelves (bought when the family was moving from Penang to Johor), one bookshelf, one small table and my foldable desk (which is kept when I leave for Singapore). Of all these containers, only 20% belongs to me - two drawers to keep my clothes, the small table to put my commonly reached possessions such as wallet, watch, phone, etc. and the foldable desk I've been using a lot lately. So where did all my stuff go? They're either in Singapore, or packed in paper boxes! HAHA.

I'm soooo glad I didn't have to move when I was young, because even after three years of moving to Johor, my parents *still* have things they bring from Penang everytime we're back. I'm thinking of decluttering my phsycal space in mid-July when I move in to hostel. Pray hard I'll be staying in the same room through my uni years (3.5-4 years). I'm not exactly messy, my things are quite organized, but I take FOREVER to organize them if I have to. Say for example, when I moved in to Bukit Panjang last year, I took two days to unpack and I still wasn't quite done. Sam, despite possessing more, took (a lot) less time to do it. =.= I should've been born a snail, not a human. D=

As for my virtual space! It's rather clean! I have the habit of dumping whatever I don't need on my desktop once in a while, or deleting friends off Facebook! Hee.

For The Past Few Days

During the camp, we had a heart-to-heart talk session around the Ring of Fellowship. Aaron asked what are our greatest fears in life. My greatest fear, at the moment, is to not have a purpose in life. And unbelievably, while sharing, I revealed my dream to become a TV presenter to a group of people I just met. It felt awkward because I have never, ever told anyone other than Kooi Khin, Mei Kuan and Nick. Not many shared their stories. It could be because they are still young (almost 3-4 years younger than those who shared), or that they're uncomfortable doing it. From there, I suspect humans' greatest fear might be to reveal their greatest fears, to expose their vulnerability to the world.

I've been thinking about relationships a lot lately - personalities, attitudes, perceptions, and the like that make human, human.

Do you ever think about this? Do you ask questions when you're puzzled? Who do you talk to then?

30DLBL Day 6 - My Life Goals

2011-05-16T10:17:00.000+08:00

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland

Studies
Finance/wealth
Health/fitness
Social/friends
Family
Romance/love
Recreation
Contribution
Personal growth
Spiritual
Self-image

Of course I do not want to remain the way I am now. Nobody likes to remain stagnant. I’d rather be dead. Studies, personal growth, family, health, self-image, spiritual (not in order) are the main categories I would improve. Easier said than done, of course. I have remained stagnant for quite a while and that, again, explains the reason I’m doing this challenge. It’s a good overview of my life in all aspects.

The Challenge So Far

I woke up at 6.45am today! =) 15 more days to go till I’d successfully integrate the habit into my life!

The weather was a little cloudy, just nice for a morning jog. The sun came out when I was about to leave. Woot woot.

And the task today! It said it would take 2 hours to do it and guess what?! I took more than 5 hours (with distractions here and there of course), but it felt nice. =) Now I have an Excel sheet for my goals in one, three and five years. To reflect on what I did today, I have always been doing the same thing every year, setting goals/resolution for myself. Somehow, the goals I set are always all over the place. I think this exercise allowed a bird’s eye view on my goals.

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I started the challenge by writing on a notebook, but it became too tedious so I decided to type instead. I thought my blog would be a good platform as it would make my plan known (to those who wants to know). It is a little embarassing but if I’m set to change myself, I shouldn’t be embarassed. In the event that I fail, please don’t use it against me. =.= Being the fickle minded person that I am, it is highly possible that I’d forget about this challenge in a month or two. I suppose it happens to almost everyone – setting sky-high goals and completely putting them behind your mind the next day. On the other side of the coin, if I don’t try, I wouldn’t even know if I’d fail or succeed. If I’d succeed in religiously following the goals I’ve set for myself, that’s good! If I don’t… well, at least I took the time to think about my life purpose, vision, values, etc. – one (small) step forward in my self discovery journey. =)

There’s a reason why I was skeptical about publishing all these on my blog. I don’t expect much audience to my blog nowadays, which is great. Posting my daily 30DLBL tasks on this blog also means I have to open up to share, and when you share, you are exposing yourself, you have to overcome fear. And by overcoming fears, you become stronger, more resillient. I write whatever I think’s appropriate and adequate. Nothing wrong with that.

I know that I’m doing the right thing. I should the one to decide whether or not this is what I want to do. Criticising is fine, but there’s a limit, especially when I regard you as one of my good friends. I will tune out of whatever sarcasm, criticism you may have. I don’t even bother expressing my discomfort because I doubt you will listen. And I don’t want to be seen as being petty, oversensitive. I don’t know what will doing this leads to, but at least I believe it will lead to something good. It will be life changing, no matter small it is. I might fail in the end, but at least I’ve tried and that I’d have no regrets. I got my answer. =)

Are you asking for their permission to succeed in your goals? If not, no feeling. - Sean Ho, an inspiring friend

30DLBL Day 5 - Discovering Values

2011-05-11T21:03:00.002+08:00

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. - from my personal collection of quotes, source unidentified

From Day 5's task, I've identified five values that are deemed most important. These were selected after eliminating over 20 other values which were somewhat relevant.

Excellence
To give my 110% in everything that I pursue. To not give up. To be persevere, persistent and committed. To be the very best that I can be and to achieve my highest potential.
Passion
To do the things I love and to love the things I do. Nothing can be done with passion and commitment. To not work for money, but for passion instead. I’ve always believed in loving the things you do, not just doing the things you love. Things don’t always work this way.
Perseverance
To believe in myself. To not give up no matter what. To start a goal and stick to it till the very end.
Joy
To always be happy and positive. To be enthusiastic. To bring joy and happiness to others, whether it’s family, friends, acquaintances or strangers.
Making a difference
To make a difference in people’s life, in the world or simply things I feel strongly about. To be perceptive and to put myself in others’ shoes so that I would be able to feel. To empathise. To contribute to the world as much as I can with the knowledge that I possess. To be grateful for what I have. We, as individuals, can all make a difference in others’ lives, whether it is big or small.

Reference: Steve Pavlina

Fifth Day

I had a head start today jogging in the park nearby. I've been moving a lot slower in completing my action plan these few days. This has happened after I came back from HCIS' camp in Pulau Ubin last week. I can still feel the lethargy up till today.

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I'm confused. I don't know what to do. I'm feeling upset over some issues but there's nothing I can do. I can't stand up for what I believe is right because standing up itself is already wrong. Should I err for something right? How would I know what's right and what's wrong? I'm bottling it all up. Can't talk to anyone, can't solve the issue, can't do shit. One moment I'm crying my eyes out, the next I'm pretending to laugh. What is this.

... I'm not going to let myself sulk in my self-pity and misery. I will do the right thing and the wrong thing. I don't know what's right, what's wrong so I shall follow my gut feelings.

I don't even make sense anymore. I'm contradicting myself. One thing for sure, I'm not gonna let myself fall into this bottomless pit. I'll climb back up.

30DLBL Day 4 - The Mission Statement

2011-05-10T17:51:00.038+08:00

“Decide upon your major definite purpose in life and then organize all your activities around it.” - Brian Tracy

My Life Purpose

Today's task, a very difficult task, is to find our life purpose and to create a mission statement in which will guide you through decision-making, day-to-day tasks, problem solving and so on. This is done through connecting with your inner self and shedding off your external self (e.g. your roles as a daughter, a girlfriend, a friend, etc.).

As mentioned, I did this the other day. I started with imposed purposes (e.g. getting good grades) and ended with lots of them being helping others grow, impacting others and achieving my highest potential. After typing 73 sentences and another 55 today in a Word Document, I have not found a mission statement that resonates with me from within. But that's okay. According to the exercise, one's true life purpose is supposed to make him/her cry because it is the time you reconnect with your inner self, and because you would've touched your core. Nothing happened to me. Right now, I have a draft and so, I shall follow it through temporarily. Life's about embracing changes, isn't it? ;D This soul searching will be a life long journey

With the list of 128 bullet points I have typed, I have drafted the following mission statements which I shall religiously follow from now on (till I find my true life purpose) =D

To do the best in everything that I pursue;
To live a life out of passion and love;
To help others grow and to discover their highest potential;
To help the underprivileged and to contribute as much as I can to the world.

The Challenge So Far

This is getting harder. It's provoking the doubts and fears I have within me. So much uncertainties. Despite spending an hour or two thinking for a life purpose, I haven't found one. That aside, today hasn't been fantastic that it's distracting me from completing the task.

Oh, yesterday I made a deal with Piggieman. There's so much negativity within the both of us and I felt that we're dragging each other down. We promised to only talk about positive things whenever we're on the phone (I will not see him for a month). Negative aura, shoo! It's a good change! Positive energy should be measured in Richter scale! Each time the Richter scale goes up a notch, the severity of an earthquake goes up in ten folds. Now apply the same theory. Imagine this, the scale represents the number of friends/family/etc. you have, and the scale is used to measure the positive energy among you. The more the people, the greater the energy level. =D Ain't I amazing to have thought of this? *syok sendiri*

And if you haven't realised, I made a bid not to write really, really negative stuff on the blog. I don't want negativity to leave its trail in my life. They come, and they go. That's it.

Feeling better already! Life gets better each day! =D

30DLBL Day 3 – AS ROBIN VOID

2011-05-09T12:39:00.005+08:00

Or... "vision board". ;)

My life =)

30DLBL Day 2 – What’s Your Ideal Life?

2011-05-04T17:43:00.003+08:00

Today marks the second day of 30DLBL Challenge and also the third day waking up at 7am successfully. I have made a bid to forge the habit of waking up at 7am everyday. So far I can see the benefits of waking up early already, especially in time management. =)

Today’s task is about the ideal life, the life I couldn’t have imagined having.

Day 2 is about possibilities, dreams, your wishes, your ideals, your deepest hopes and desires, your truest passions in life.

In her introduction, Celes talked about how we, as children when we were young, would let our imaginations run wild. We wouldn’t just dream, we dream big. I suppose along the way, we had to conform to societal pressure. We start living others’ dream and stop thinking about what we once dreamt of. I, myself can be the perfect example. Believe it or not, just 5 years ago, I was telling my best friend, Mei Kuan, that one day, she’ll see me walk up the stage and receive an award for the Best Actress. I truly believed in that dream. I wanted to be a TV presenter and I don’t think I’ve told many people this simply because… I find it embarassing. I don’t think it’s right that I find pursuing a dream embarassing. And now I’ve totally dropped that ambition of mine because I don’t think I can do it. I’m contented with my current life, but I find that I’m slowly losing a purpose. I don’t know what I want in life. I always tell myself “I don’t have what it takes to be a TV presenter.” Now I’m stuck believing that’s true. There’s two sides to the coin though. Other commitments and goals have taken over this ambition now. And I’m quite settled in with my current life. Maybe one day I’ll wake up and find myself a new purpose!

That being said, I’m not completely aimless in life! At least for these few months, I have goals set for myself and that’s something commendable! =D These goals don’t exactly represent what I want in life but I feel it’s the right thing to do at the moment.

Back to today’s task, we’re told to envision our ideal life.

What would you do if you can never, ever fail? What would you do if you have unlimited resources, time or networks? What are your biggest goals and dreams? What would you want to achieve in your life? What is your ideal life? What is a life you can look back and be proud of living, and tell yourself “I’ve truly lived to my fullest?”

If I can never, ever fail, I would invest the money and time to groom myself into a better presenter. I don’t think many of you know about this, but I used to be in the school’s broadcasting unit, took part in various competitions (crosstalks, debates, elocution in all three languages) and won. In 2006, I even took up the role as the co-host for the annual school concert. Although I lacked confidence at the time, I was proud to be part of it and I loved every moment of it. I would take part in auditions and competitions, just so I can relish my dream. And to think that I’ve completely deviated from that dream makes me… empty.

If I have unlimited resources, time and networks, I would start an egg-themed restaurant named “Ninja Egg”. =D This sounds odd but, I have had special connection to eggs since young. -.- I love eating eggs, was nicknamed Egg, and always associate myself to them. Kooi Khin and Mei Kuan would be my partner. Together, we would expand the business. They would be living their ideal life, and I would be living my dream. We’d be perfect together.

I’d join singing competitions too! Just because it’s an experience of a lifetime. Okay, maybe I should put this into my bucket list of 101 things to do before I die.

If I can never, ever fail, I’d put my heart and soul into SP Rovers. I want to see the club grow. It changed me for the better and I know it will do the same to the others. It’s one of my biggest regrets not being able to change its current state.

Financial wise, I don’t need to be very rich. Or at least I would belong to mid-high income group. A stable income would mean I’m doing good for my business. =D Most of my income would be passive, as I’d learn how to invest. In the ideal life, I wouldn’t be trading time for money (which many of us do). I’d be living in a condominium or even better, a landed property in Singapore (why not?), my parents and brothers would move in with me if they’re willing to. I’d leave it up to them. My brothers then wouldn’t have to commute between Johor and Singapore each day which sucks their time and energy out of them. I want to be able to give my nephews and nieces a good education. This is what I would do to repay my brothers for supporting my (very expensive) education. And because I’d have unlimited time, I’d teach them personally. I’d spend all my time being with my family to make up for the time I wasn’t with them these three years.

I would travel all around the world. Everytime I visit a new place, I get to learn about its people, its culture, its stories. And before I turn 30 (the age limit for most working holiday schemes), I would go on many, many working holidays. The first would be New Zealand. While travelling, I want to help the underprivileged whenever I can. I would volunteer abroad (Ecoteer). One of the first places I would visit would be Laos. I’ve seen Miao Zhen doing it, and she inspires me. I’d also advocate living a sustainable life.

I hope to learn more like how I used to in secondary school when I had plenty of time up my sleeves. Right now, I have so many things I want to learn but I haven’t gotten the time to. I feel like I’m only living up to others’ expectations. I want to continue latin dancing, relearn knitting, pick up Adobe Illustrator… so much more! I would do all of these if I have the time! I can achieve so much more, if only I am persistent enough.

By then, I would also be healthier and be in a better shape. I would’ve completed a few marathons, all under 5.5 hours (I took 8 hours for my first). I would eat better, totally ridding oily and unhealthy food out of my diet.

I haven’t gotten everything covered, especially in spirituality. Not an idea how an ideal life from the spiritual aspect would be. To be achieve the ideal spirituality, one has to connect to his/her inner self. That means, knowing what you live for and the reason of your existence. Cheemology. I don’t know what I’m living for. The other night I spent around one hour typing random sentences, just to bring myself to a purpose. 80 bullet points later, nope, haven’t found anything. Nothing pulled my heartstring when that’s supposed to happen.

Whoa. I’ve been reading and rereading this article, only to find more things to write each time. It was hard in the beginning. It was even harder when three paragraphs of text went poof no thanks to Blogger’s auto-save feature. At least now I can see what I want my ideal life to be and that’s something to work towards. As for the first dream… I’m not sure. I’ve already lost it and I have put it behind me. Perhaps the ideal life doesn’t have to be perfect, as long as I live with no regrets, that’s enough. That being said, I should stop holding back and start stepping out of my comfort zone.

The Challenge So Far

I went out for a jog today. =) Jurong Lake is such a magnificent place. It’s so quiet and serene. I closed my eyes for a moment and it felt good. I thought about my ideal life. Thought about my life purpose. And thought about nothing. Nothing at all~ Just the “nothingness” I need. =D

My 30-day action plan is working great! I realised I’m more focused with my goals set for the month. I might have to learn to say “no”. I hope that’s right choice.

Project Orion is confirmed! I’ll be going to Setiu, Terengganu for a turtle conservation project this coming June. Excited! The disappointing thing is, due to unforeseen circumstances, Nicholas isn’t going with me. But I see this as an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone! I’m embarking on a 2-week project with total strangers I haven’t met before (except the expedition leader)! Meeting new people plus once in a lifetime experience, I LIKE! Seeing turtles has always been on my wishlist but I haven’t gotten around doing it. Too many wants, too many distractions!

I’m going for a camp tomorrow at Pulau Ubin. Will be teaching a group of secondary scounts pioneering and navigation. Heh heh heh. Quite nervous. I wonder if they’ll be pro-er than me. =.= My 3 years as a Rover < their n years as cub scouts and/or scouts. Nonetheless, I shall enjoy teaching them! I realise I like to be surrounded by kids. Hee. And I like to be called “cher” too. “Cher~ cher… CHER!” XD *syok sendiri*

This is such a long post. I can’t believe I haven’t blogged for years (literally). Alrighty, going to bed! BYE PEOPLE! BUAI~

30DLBL Day 1 - Your Life Wheel

2011-05-03T09:37:00.008+08:00

Today's task:

Day 1 is the first day of the 30 days ahead. With the start of every journey, it’s important to know where we are starting. It’s like traveling from destination A to destination B – you have to first know where you are (A) to get to where you want to be (B). Hence, Day 1 is about getting clarity of your life right now. To do that, we’ll be using the life wheel.

Part 1: My Life Assessment

The life wheel is a wheel that gives you a snapshot of how you’re doing (a) overall in life and (b) individual areas of your life. It is essentially a circle divided into segments that represent your different life areas: career, finance, family, love, friends, recreation, contribution, personal growth, etc. It is segmented into 11 parts, consisting of the following. I'll rate myself on each segment, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest).

Image © TPEB

**Halfway through the assessment, I realised I have to be very frank and I'm not sure if posting on this blog is the right choice. Between bottling up and offending others, I choose the latter. This will be my most truthful answers. I feel like I'm showing the negative side of me. There's so much negativity in the stuff I write. Nonetheless, I believe it's my choice to post it up here. I want others to know that I'm doing this so that those who care, can either join me in this mission or give me some encouragement. Yea~

Studies (7/10) - I feel that I have the capability to achieve more. My CGPA is 3.686, which is already above average to many. But don't forget, this is a very subjective matter. I could've done more to achieve a higher GPA. I haven't been putting in as much effort as I used to be. The time when I did my best was in Year 2, when I got onto the honour roll. Later in year 3, I guess I just went to school each day without a purpose. I got a C for Art Direction because I wasn't doing good for it, so I gave up altogether. And I'm feeling bitter over the others who are awarded Diploma with Merit. It's not healthy.
Finance/Wealth (6/10) - The past few months have been good in terms of finance since I've been working part-time. But I think working has interfered my personal life. I had to choose between personal growth and working because money gives me the flexibility to fulfill my wants. I might have too many wants - buying a new MacBook Pro ($1.6k), travelling (Project Orion - $400+, Cambodia/Vietnam trip - spent $200 on flight ticket so far)... yep, that's all. I earn rougly $200-300 per project. Each project takes 3-4 days. At the same time, I'm still getting allowance from my brothers, albeit lesser. I'm using the allowance given to fulfill my wants. I don't think that's right. I could've used my work allowance to support myself financially though. Confused about this. Oh, I just opened a monthly savings account for myself. So each month, $50 will be automatically deposited from my existing account to that account. If I don't touch the money, I would be able to save $600 a year!
Health/Fitness (4/10) - DEFINITELY UNHEALTHY! I deserve the ratings. =o=... Barely exercising since completing a marathon in Dec '10, not eating right because I don't think I'm fat (good self-image, heh, but now I can totally feel my spare tyre *gasps*), sleeping late every night doing god-knows-what... and the list goes on.
Social/Friends (8/10) - I'm quite content with my current social circle. Although I had to rebuild a social circle 3 years ago, I'm doing rather well by now. I have a group of close friends whom I hang out with regularly and who teases me as always (*points to Bryan and Kenneth*). I'm still keeping in touch with secondary school friends but I think I can do more, especially with... my hubbies. I've been meeting new people recently from my roadtrips and work. That feels good. =)
Family (5/10) – I'm closer to my family now despite studying abroad. But I still have problems expressing myself freely. I hold back myself sometimes. I think I put my family as the last due to other commitments. For example, I rarely stay at home, even if I go back Johor, I don't stay for more than 3 days. My niece has been telling me to stay and it makes me feel awful. =(
Romance/Love (10/10) – Giving this a 10, because... it deserves a 10. =.= It's my first relationship and it's been good so far. We have our ups and downs but most of the time, I feel happy just thinking about it. Yay.
Recreation (10/10) – HAVING TOO MUCH FUN IN FACT! Roadtrips, gatherings, games, etc. etc.!
Contribution (1/10) – Contribution to the society. Sadly to say, I haven't been contributing to the society, what more the world. The other "beneficial" camp I joined was for Y Camp, organized by YMCA and Cabin Club camp where I gained much invaluable experience. It's something that has been on my mind for very long but haven't gotten to do it. Laziness and procrastination being reason number one.
Personal Growth (6/10) – I'm still not achievning my highest potential. There's more I can do. SP Rovers was a revenue where I could've achieved my highest potential. I think I wasn't strong enough to keep at it... Right now, my mind tells me to stay away from it. I'm shifting my focus to my design works. I'm not exactly good, but at least it's an interest that I've had for years. People tell me I can do it, so I think I should continue pursuing this interest.
Spiritual (4/10) - The question asked for this segment is: "How in tuned are you with the universe/your higher self?" Hmm. That's a tough question. I gave myself a 4 because... 5 is the passing rating. I don't think I pass and 4 is slight below 5... Religion-wise, I don't pray like my parents do, but there're core principles that I strongly believe in. Those principles can be applied across all religions, whether you're a Buddhist, a Catholic, a Muslim, etc. E.g. filial piety, not to hurt others, among others. If we go further in, where the spiritual aspect is concerned, I'm not yet in tuned with my higher self. Being in tuned with my highesr self, meaning, having a life purpose, understanding why I exist and why I am here in this world. Two days ago, I spent the whole night thinking about my life purpose. After going through 70 bullet points of possible answers, I have yet to find it. I'll attempt to do it in another sitting.
Self-image (6/10) – 6 upon 10, because, again, 5 is the passing rate and 6 is slightly above it. I value myself as a person. I don't think lowly of myself. Not hurting myself is one of the ways of loving myself. I believe in my abilities but lately I've been doubting myself a lot. I haven't been very confident as I used to be. Others' opinions affect me more than ever. That is why I'm giving myself a 6.

Part 2: Reflections

What is the shape of your wheel? How does it look?

Based on the 4 general shapes, my life wheel is a lopsided web that’s high on some areas but low on some. That means I’ve made good headway in some areas. However, I’ve neglected other areas in the process. As taught, doing so is only limiting my life experience. It might also reflect I'm blocking off/denying those areas. Amongst all, I've underperformed in these aspects, in ascending order, contribution, spiritual, health/fitness and family.

Why does your wheel look like this? (List 3 biggest reasons)

Reason 1: Mainly, it's because I've neglected/put off the four listed areas. Looking at the wheel, I've scored perfectly for romance/love and recreation/fun, which means I've had most of my efforts in these two areas.

Reason 2: Time management. I almost feel like I don't have enough time when I have plenty.

Reason 3: Not knowing how to prioritize. I had been spending too much time on Quadrant 4 activities, i.e. tasks/activities that are neither important nor urgent.

Which are your lowest scoring areas and why?
"All 11 segments are equally important in living your best life. Some people may think they can just ignore 3-4 segments and score a 0-1 there – but it doesn’t work that way. Whenever there’s a part of your life that is blocked (or put on hold), a part of you is blocked too."

Contribution (1/10) - It's always on my mind but I never got around doing it. It's something I deem non-urgent. *guilty*

Spiritual (4/10) - Thinking about my life purpose and my existence has never bothered me till now. I'm so caught up in paper chase that I haven't slowed down to think about what am I living for. I do think about it sometimes, but I haven't found the answer.

Health/fitness (4/10) -I scored this low because I think I'm in denial. =.= I don't think I'm fat (I still think so!) so I don't look after my diet. I used to avoid oily food because I was overweight. I also used to exercise regularly so that I could lose weight. I eventually lost 8kg after years being overweight. Now that I have a normal BMI, I jog occasionally, but it has gone... stagnant after the completion of my virgin marathon. =.= It was also when I started my internship. Internship has taken up so much of my energy and time that I stopped exercising. And then it became a routine. *shrugs*

Family (5/10) - Family is the aspect that I always put on hold because I always tell myself, my family will be there, no matter what. I'm in Singapore most of the time. To be with my family means I have to go back to Johor. Going back Johor sounds like a chore. Commuting takes up almost 2-3 hours of my day, from packing to waiting for the bus to queueing at immigration customs.

Are you happy with your wheel?
Not really. If I were to stick with these scores forever, I would die in regrets, especially my score for family (5/10). I want a change. I can do so much more but why am I stuck at this stage? First things first, I'm gonna learn how to say no to Quadrant 4 activities - not important and not urgent. One of them, curb my Facebook (haven't been on Facebook for 2 days! *proud*) and TV addiction.

Part 3: Action

What are your biggest priorities moving forward to achieve your ideal 10/10 wheel?

I'm still distance away from the ideal 10/10 wheel (10/10 is the ideal life), so I shall prioritise on just a few for now, mainly family, health/fitness and personal growth.

Contribution aligns with what I'm doing next month - Project Orion, a turtle conservation project. =) That shall my strategy to up that score. Spirituality is the reason why I'm doing this challenge - to discover my inner self and to find out what I really want to do with my life. With this, I'm rearranging my list of goals!

In order of priority:
Family

To spend in Johor at least 4 days a week.
To bring Jamie out every evening when I'm home.

Spiritual

To complete this challenge.
~~To discover my life purpose at the end of the challenge.~~ Achieved!

Personal Growth

~~To spend 5 hours a week on Photoshop.~~ This goal will be integrated with Goal #2.
To set up an online portfolio.
To complete character development for Recycle Factory.
To work towards Cambodia/Vietnam trip.

Health/Fitness

To exercise 3 days a week and to increase mileage.
~~To complete a 7-day detox diet.~~ Dropped the goal due to time constraints and the lack of resources.

Contribution

To achieve the most out of Project Orion.

The Challenge So Far

Besides this 30-day challenge, I'm cultivating the habit to be an early riser. It's been 2 days since I sleep at 11pm and wake up at 7am. It's for my health and to increase my productivity in the morning. I'm not sure if it's really that good of a habit, but I'll try.

So far, the challenge has been a breeze. I haven't met with any obstacle yet, but to execute the plan, I have to forgo a few events, which were once important to me. I know it's the right decision to do.

I'm still optimistic at this stage, let's hope the optimism persists till the last day! =) Chai Yen, JIAYOU TOO!

Live a Better Life in 30 Days Challenge

2011-05-03T09:04:00.006+08:00

Hello everyone! What a surprise to see me here, isn't it? =D I was contemplating to stop blogging altogether because this blog no longer serves its purpose as a life documentary with other alternatives, such as photo albums on Facebook. So, why am I here today? I'm embarking on a 30-day challenge to live my best life and to discover my inner potential (wah cheemology siol)! I'll document my daily tasks on this blog. More details below.

I've been thinking a lot lately, with all the free time up my sleeves. Truth to be told, I haven't been doing much since graduation. A normal week to me would be spending 3 days on work, the rest of the week spent doing practically nothing. On those days, I would go back to Johor, either sleep through the day or scroll down Facebook news feed, hoping miracles will happen. That is not the life I would want for myself. I have almost half a year after the end of my last semester in SP and this is the time I should be fulfilling whatever dreams or goals I have for myself. Instead, I'm rotting away. I have had enough with work, earned enough money to reward myself with a few roadtrips and to give part of it to my parents. =) Now it's about time to do something before I decompose into a puddle of water! D=

The challenge I've taken on is called "Live a Better Life in 30 Days Challenge". It's something I found from The Personal Excellence Blog. I've been reading the blog for a week now. Reading these self-help articles reminds me how unenergized, tired and aimless I am. That's when I found the challenge.

Quoted from Celestine, the blogger and coach:

For the entire month(30 days), I’ll be conducting a 30 days Challenge To Live A Better Life (30D LBL). What’s going to happen is I’ll share a task every day on the blog, a task which will move you towards living a better life. These are not gimmicky tasks – they are important tasks that will improve our lives for the better. Each of them embody the principles I share here at the blog to live your best life. Each task has been specifically created to drive you on the path of self-discovery, conscious living and personal growth. I have personally designed/set each of task and have also done them myself, so I know they have their intended effect.

As with anything that creates real, long-term change in life, each task will take time to think through and digest – from 1-2 hours every day. While this may look like a lot of time, this is a valuable investment of time that will move your life to a better place at the end of the 30 days. What random activities do you spend every day that you can cut out for this? Facebooking? Twitter? Watching TV? Doing things for others? Are they more important than you living a better, more conscious life? Many 30DLBL participants have told me how just doing the tasks from the first few days have already made them feel lighter, clearer, awakened, more focused and more proactive about life. They already feel motivated about what’s ahead of them, vs. previously. It’s amazing just witnessing and hearing about their changes.

This is not a race. This is not a competition, even though it’s framed as a challenge. This is a movement to change your life for the better, to enable you to be better than who you are, to move you to greater heights in life.

This motivates me. Good to have someone guiding me along the way. I've gotten Chai Yen to do this with me and we're committed to this. I'm a little worried as I have to commit myself for the next 30 days, but if it's really life changing, 1-2 hours a day is nothing. =)

I'm currently on Day 1. For Day 0 (which was yesterday), I set a few goals and drafted a 30-day action plan as part of the pre-work. The more goals I set, the further I'm stretching myself and the richer the experience will be at the end of the month.

My goals:
Personal growth

To complete character development for Recycle Factory;
To spend 5 hours a week on Photoshop (used to be a daily routine but I've lost it due to school commitments. I wanna get back on track.), and;
To set up an online portfolio.

Health

To exercise 3 days a week and to increase my mileage (haven't been exercising since running a marathon in Dec '10), and;
To get started on detox plan (HEHEHE. I've been constipating so often lately I have to do this!).

Family

To stay in Johor at least 4 days a week and to spend more quality family time (so please don't blame me if I'm not spending enough time with you as a friend >_< ), and;
To bring my niece out to the park every evening when I'm home (something I promised her).

Yep, 8 goals in total! I'm so excited already! I do hope I'll be able to achieve all of these! YEA! Let's get started!

Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time. - a quote I long had in my journal

该学会的

2010-05-25T23:49:00.000+08:00

1、学会冷血，只对对我好的人好，对某些人，简直就是浪费感情
　　
2、学会比以前快乐，即使难过，也要微笑着
　　
3、学会孤独，没有谁会把你当宝护着，世界总是孤单的
　　
4、学会坚强，其实一个人也可以活得漂亮，自己笑给自己看，自己哭给自己听
　　
5、学会忍耐，该闭嘴就闭嘴，该沉默就沉默
　　
6、学会珍惜，知心的朋友已经不多，如果再走，就真的只剩下自己了
　　
7、学会视而不见，恶心的东西选择忽视，厌恶的东西选择屏蔽，不会再有人让我不快乐
　　
8、学会满足，所谓知足常乐
　　
9、学会独立，不能再一味的麻烦别人，自己的事自己做
　　
10、学会长大，不能再那么任性，那么幼稚，那么孩子气
　　
11、学会认真，认真的对人，认真的对事

12、学会慎重，不该认识的人不要认识，不该插手的事不要插手

Reflection

2010-01-15T00:42:00.000+08:00

I missed the lecture this morning. When I went to school, Mich told me about a short video clip that was shown during lecture. It made our lecturer cried.

The clip showed the different stages in a lady's life. The day she was born, how she grew up, how she met the man of her life and how they got married. And then, she was diagnosed with cancer.

The doctor told her she only had 3 months left. She started to cherish life, more than she ever had. She stopped thinking of how people would look at her when she showed her affection to her husband. Afterall, he was her dearest. There was noone more important than him.

Our lecturer picked up her phone and called her mother the first time she watched the clip. She told her mother she loves her. And then she started tearing in the lecture theatre.

And then I cried too.

There're times when I reflect on myself and let thoughts run wildly through my mind. Today is one of the days. I reflected on my life, myself and people around me. I realised how sentimental I've become since coming here (also quoted from Sam Chen, becoming half a Singaporean). Yea, life sucks here. I don't like the country, the environment nor the people. If it wasn't for the decision that I made, I could still be studying in Penang, going out occasionally with my beloved friends. Correction- wives, sisters, everything in my life. Every Sunday, I would go out for breakfast with my family.

Coming here was a complete culture shock. I can't remember how many times I'd regretted my decision.

Then, I realised it's sucky things like these that make me appreciate people dearest to me. The last time I went back Penang, KK told me I'm a lot closer to my parents now. Although I still don't talk as much to my father, she could see that we're on better terms and that I make an effort to make it better. My mother responds to my lame jokes now. =O And my niece actually listens to me! Oh, and she "communicates" to me in French too. XD

Nothing gives me more warmth than to listen to my mother nagging over the phone. She's not naggy, she's just worried.

School sucked last semester. I dreaded going to school everyday. There were always conflicts, always things to worry about and I was always complaining. More than once each week, I would go home and cry myself to sleep. Now, I look back and I appreciate what I had learnt.

It's true when someone tells you to thank people who make your life miserable.

Things happen for a reason. Without them, I wouldn't know who matters to me, who doesn't. I've learnt not to rely on others. I should always, always, believe in myself. Only I can make things happen if I want to. Complaining doesn't help, it depresses you. As cliche as it may sound, nothing is impossible if you just believe.

Don't blame them, thank them instead. =)

2009-11-05T20:40:00.002+08:00

My results slip for last semester wasn't sent to my address. -_- I went to SSC to check it out. The receptionists couldn't find mine. He called the examination department and it said I had to pay $3.20 to get a new copy unless I requested 2 weeks ago. -_- It wasn't even my fault loh.

Turned out I didn't save my address while updating my particulars on SAS, so when the school printed the slip the address field was empty! After a long lecture from the staff, she decided that I could get mine for free. Oh well. =.=

Yes, That Video You've Watched

2009-10-29T23:25:00.004+08:00

Most of you must have watched Namewee's latest video on TNB already. The link's here if you have not watched it.

I give him my two thumbs up for standing up for the people in the country. But for someone his age, it is absolutely childish and ridiculous to behave the way he did. It might be courageous of him to go up to TNB and make a big fuss out of it. What would he get in the end? Attention. From who? People who can't do anything about it.

We all know what's happening in the country. It's a matter of fact.

I support him for his boldness, but not his irrational act. Does raising his voice, screaming at the top of his lungs help? He can't control how people choose to live their life. And we already have enough of ~~leaders~~ people who only talk the talk and not walk the talk.

I'm not angry. I'm just baffled as to how irrational he has portrayed =.=

_____

*changes serious tone*

Side track a bit. Heehee. Read this from Kitty's blog, it's quite interesting. She got to know an artificial colouring sometimes used in food.

Carmine (pronounced /ˈkɑrmɪn/ or /ˈkɑrmaɪn/), also called Crimson Lake, Cochineal, Natural Red 4, C.I. 75470, or E120, is a pigment of a bright red color obtained from the carminic acid produced by some scale insects.

- Wikipedia

The said scale insects, called cochineals, are harvested in clusters from plants like this...

They're then pounded into fine powder before being used as food dye. =O So while you're munching on your food, you might be chewing on some insect powder... =O =O

_____

I'm trying to revive my blog. I need to write more because I think my written English is seriously deteriorating. And my spoken Mandarin is becoming hopeless. =(

The longer I stay in Singapore, the harder I find it to communicate. -_- Weird.

First lesson

2009-10-23T00:16:00.005+08:00

Remember I almost lost my choice of elective?

We had the first lesson for design and illustration today! It's loads of fun! We aren't expected to be able to draw perfectly and at least at the end of the semester, we should be able to improve our skills by a level or two.

The last time I was crazily into illustrations was two years ago. And drawing has always been fun! We did something simple today. We were split into "tribes". So each "tribe member" should critique his members' work.

Since it's an elective, the class is made up of interesting people from different classes. There is someone who sketches on a daily basis and on the end there is another who is afraid of drawing yet inspires to be involved in the field. Okay I'm not gonna be all cliched and talk about their inspirations blah blah blah. -_-

Something exciting! For us to be able to illustrate digitally, each of us is loaned a tablet for the semester! Yay! I swear Sam was soooo jealous when I boasted about it to her. Yes Sam I did it on purpose. It's better than your camera pen. -_- She wants a pen that has a camera attached to it so that it'd record whatever she writes. And it costs RM800. For a tiny little pen!

And finally I get to learn how to use Adobe Illustration!

Tomorrow, we'll be going on our first field trip. It's Singapore Designers' Day. I'm not sure what we'll be exposed to. But with the reputation of the firm, it should be quite intriguing. It has worked with clients like Calvin Klein, etc.

Anyway, one of the class work required us to blog about our experiences and our reflections on design, advertising typography in particular. I hope to update it at least once a week since the class's fun!

I just wrote my first post, go have a look and comment! =)

_____

On a side note, I went SWIMMING today! -_- No correct that. I went to LEARN swimming today. Note the difference?

This time round, the victim's Sam, oh my poor roommate! I don't think I have to explain how horrendous my victims usually end up like. She's the 5th person (I think so? Lost count.) trying to teach me how to swim properly. I'll see how long she'll persevere. HAHA.

Well technically, I can swim *I think*. Just that I can't coordinate my arms and legs to catch my breath out of water. That means most of the time I run out of breath before I finish 2 strokes. -_-

My instructor was so distracted today. Oogling at guys, going "aww" at kids. Sigh. And there was an uncle doing some odd stretching exercises. He was moving his hips back and forth, for more than 30 mins I SWEAR.

The more time I spend with Sam, the more I find myself abnormal. She agrees that I'm abnormal *big sad face*. I can't float on my back, because the water was ticklish (?!!). My butt's too heavy so it's always sinking. And I have a talent! I can sink to the bottom of the pool and lie flat on the ground. (Please clap, thank you.) -_-

Oh and our stupid conversation,

Sam: Sharon you need to move your hands down *demonstrates* so that you can thrust the water.
Sharon: What do you mean? Thrust the water? T-H-R thrust or T-R trust?
Sam: Uh... you need both.

Anyway, I want to thank my dear dear roommie for putting up with me today! And for pulling out the stooooooopid thorn on my foot! (I slipped from a small slope and stepped on a grass patch then the thorn went inside. Damn stupid can. -_-)

Eeee so girly/geli (?) hoh? XD I'm normal for the first time! HAHAHA.

To strive to be

2009-10-21T20:47:00.003+08:00

I'm sick and tired of complaining and listening to complaints. Instead, I will work harder, no matter how many free riders/slackers/stupid people I might have to work with.

Nothing is fair in this world. Things don't always go my way but I can make my way around it.

I want to and I will get GPA 3.8. =)

Don't complain, just work harder.

2009-10-13T00:55:00.002+08:00

I was so excited by the Penang Bridge International Marathon until I found out the event'll be held in November and not December. What a disappointment. -_-

It feels great to be home for a week! Home cooked food, family, TV, etc.! And I get to drive! =D

My dad still refuses to sit beside me while I'm driving. I'm pretty bad at it but I'm improving! Though I still can't overcome my phobia for narrow roads. -_-

That particular afternoon while I was driving, another car was on the other side of the road but the road was too narrow for it to get through. The driver gestured that I'd made the move first. And I was panicking that I refused to move AT ALL. The driver drove through only when my mom finally persuaded me to reverse the car. He muttered something that I couldn't understand with the windows up. =.= I think he was cursing.

_____

The Internet here is horrible, horrible, horrible! I slept through the day coz I couldn't access the Internet. =(

2009-09-27T13:43:00.003+08:00

Next Wednesday will be my last day working! So excited! Work's killing me. -_- And the pay is pathetic. You work like a cow and you get less than what you worked for. Not that I wanna complain but seriously... every part timer is getting a pay rise and I can't coz I don't work long enough to complete my training. -_-

I'm gonna quit this job and go back home for 2 weeks. I need a good rest. I'm sleep deprived. Nightmares and cluttered mind made it worse. I woke up from a nightmare again today. The worse nightmares are those that you remember vividly after you wake up. I still remember my nightmare 2 weeks ago and it's not nice. Feels like an omen.

Dad got into an accident. He got knocked down by a car when he was on his motorcycle. And again, I was the last to know. He's fine now but he's got a huge patch of burn on his arm.

I don't like this. The last time my mom was hospitalised, she kept it from me until my bro called. I know they didn't want me to worry. The thing is, it's not helping, it only made me want to leave this country even more. It's hard to balance. It's not easy to be here, in a foreign country all by myself.

My thoughts are so negative lately it's scaring me. I cry to sleep without reasons. There were nights when I had my eyes wide open till 4 and woke up at 6 for work. There were also nights when I couldn't sleep, I cried, because I felt so helpless. Stupid stupid stupid. And I thought I was getting a depression. HAHAHA. Dumb. -_-

The camp's coming up but I think I haven't done a good job as a leader. I was completely selfish and self indulged. I wanted to run away because I was such a coward. I'm grateful for those who were willing to listen and showed me the way again. =)

The worst thought to have, is to think that noone's there for you, when you turn your back on everyone.

2009-08-13T18:48:00.002+08:00

I almost lost my choice of electives.

The allocation for electives was done today. Apparently, the elective I chose was high in demand. So we had to draw lots. And I was one of them.

Imagine having a keen interest in design and illustration for years, and finally I decided I'm gonna venture in the advertising industry. Then someone tells you, "Oh you only have 7/9 chance of getting it," and that your destiny lies in the little ping pong ball.

At the point of time, I was actually convincing myself to accept the 2nd choice even though I obviously didn't want to. Missing out on this elective would practically mean I miss out the whole lot of it. And seriously, come to think of it, I once told myself I wished to be an advertising person, until I diverted away from it for a while.

And you know what, the balloting exercise felt like a..

...Grammy Award. As it was done in the lecture theatre, people actually cheered for the balloters. 02 literally screamed their lungs out. o_O

And I got in! Hee. My gut feelings told me to take the first ball in the ballot box. It turned out to be good.

I have no idea why but apparently today's my lucky day despite I kicked off the day with disastrous morning and ended with a draggy evening! Heh.

2009-08-05T14:34:00.000+08:00

在Ring的部落格读到这，蛮有意义的。 =)

一个成熟的爱情... 有一位心理学家曾写过，一个成熟称得上真爱的恋情必须经过四个阶段，那就是：
- 共存(Codependent)
- 反依赖(Counterdependent)
- 独立(Independent)
- 共生(Interdependent)

第一个阶段：共存
这是热恋期间，情人不论何时何地总希望能黏在一起。

第二个阶段：反依赖
等到情感稳定后，至少会有一方想要有多一点自己的时间做自己想做的事，这时另一方就会感到被冷落。

第三个阶段：独立
这是第二个阶段的延续，要求更多独立自主的时间。

第四个阶段：共生
这时新的相处之道已经成形，你的他/她已经成为你最亲的人。你们在一起相互扶持，一起开创属于你们自己的人生。你们在一起不会互相牵绊，而会互相成长。

但是，大部分的人都通过不了第二和第三阶段，而选择分手，这是非常可惜的。

很多事只要好好沟通都会没事的，不要耍个性，不要想太多，要互相信任，这样，第二和第三阶段的时间就会缩短。

和所爱的人相遇相恋是非常不容易的，不要轻言放弃。

两人相聚是因为有缘，相知是因为有心，真的得好好珍惜这福分。希望能给大家一些启示和领悟，并惜缘。

我们会渐渐变成我们所爱的人。你和他本来没有相同之处，外表不相像，性格也南辕北撤,一旦爱上了，年深日久，你会惊讶你的眼睛有点像他的眼睛，他的微笑也有点像你的微笑。你们走路的步伐也有点相似，说话的语气也越来越相像。原来我们会变成我们所爱的人。

你本来喜欢脚踏实地的人，而他一向比较轻佻，但你们爱上了，他竟会不知不觉变成一个老实人，这个改变，连他自己也不曾察觉。他本来喜欢活泼的女孩，却爱上拘谨的你，这些日子，你竟会越来越活泼，你差点认不出自己。我们会逐渐变成对方理想中的人，这种改变绝对不是刻意的。两个人越爱得长久，气质也越来越相近。
你曾经以为他不是你梦寐以求的那种类型，然而，有一天，你会惊讶的发现，他已经变成你喜欢的那种类型，你不必再到处寻觅，他就是你要找的人。深深爱着一个人的时候，你原来真的会一点一点的失去自己，为什么你还会觉得快乐呢？大概是因为你在失去的时候，你把他的气质和微笑都赚回来了。

幸福很单纯，所以要很单纯的人才容易获得。

真爱就是不轻言放弃。

2009-07-19T22:22:00.003+08:00

It's creepy to see almost half the people from your own class to fall sick at the same time. The virus's seriously spreading fast.

o_o

And how I dread meal times! Forcing food down my throat is such a torture. =(

BTC 2009

2009-06-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

In 4 days, I've learnt these.

1. See things from a different perspective. There isn't just one solution to everything.

2. People are objective. It's impossible to please everyone. As long as you've tried your best, it's sufficient.

4. Becoming friends is easy, working together as colleagues is hard. But it doesn't hurt to try. There must be a balance point between the two.

5. Don't be too stubborn. Don't just stare at the black spot. Step back, you see more.

6. The stupidest thing to do is to let work affect your relationship.

I think I've disappointed everyone when I decided to stay behind. I only see myself in the picture. I think that I overworked. What I failed to see was that everyone else was tired, too. We always say "Don't leave your friends behind" but I failed to live up to the promise. For that, I apologise.

Nevetheless, I have to give my heartfelt gratitude to everyone involved in this.

Thanks to the training team for all the support and help you've given.
Thanks to the seniors and alumnus for your advice.
Thanks to the trainees for your enthusiasm.

BTC would be nothing without you. =)

And lastly, drink more water! Sarimbun is one hot oven and we're the BBQ-ed chicken trapped inside. -_-

生物课 - 肺活量

2009-05-14T01:32:00.000+08:00

在家里，我是最会保护及利用肺的人。我喜欢讲废话，尤其是冷笑话。这么废的我是从高中3开始的，因为我认识了那堆奇怪的东西也就是我的好朋友。妈妈每次骂我废，我就会开始了我的「肺道理」。“你们怎么都不好好利用你们的“肺”呢？每个人都有两个“肺”，要好好用它才可以，不然会坏掉的。我是一个有“肺”的人，而且还有两个呢！要我教你们怎么用吗？第一，从废开始。第二，也是从废开始。第三，还是从废开始。”

- 我猪猪老公张鎂娴 XD

My Exciting Life

2009-05-14T00:44:00.004+08:00

I shall update my blog for this time, else people complain. HAHA.

Let's talk about my exciting week.

I'm getting more and more absent-minded. I lost my first aid card few days back. -_- I don't even know if I should apply for another one. Argh. It seems like I'm destined to lose an old card just coz I exchanged my Ez-link for a new one. HAHA totally unrelated. -_-

And today! I did really really ~~stupid~~ exciting things!

I went to Clementi alone and I thought since I was already in Clementi, why not have dinner at Sumo House? Alone. So right. I paid up. Finished the meal, except the orange. Went to refill green tea. Walked back to table. Stacked plates and bowls together, with the orange inside. Gestured the waitress to take them away.

T__________T

2 secs after she walked away, I realised I hadn't eaten the orange. And I told myself to eat it before I refilled the green tea! Aaahhhh 50 cents T___________T That's that's RM1 already......

Okay fine.

Then went to NTUC to do some grocery shopping. I spent 5 mins looking for basket but to no avail. I called Sam to ask her if she needed anything and I was whining over the phone about how I couldn't find a basket. And then this middle-aged man walked up to me and pointed the baskets behind the cashier. -_____-

Well I did see those baskets. Those are the baskets that the cashier collected from her customers, but I thought customers are not allowed to use them!

K loh. Went home. Story hasn't ended hoh.

On the LRT, there was no seat. So I stood beside a pole and held onto it. A lady was standing in front of me. She looked like she's slightly pregnant. 4th stations, someone alighted. There was an empty seat! My load was heavy so I plonged my butt onto the seat, stood up again 10 secs later. I remembered the "pregnant" lady. I gave up my seat to her but she refused. Feeling awkward, I stood all the way back. I glanced at her tummy and for a moment, I was confused if she's pregnant or not...

=.=

Sigh. My life is so exciting. So exciting that school's becoming my first home. Oh and it's 1AM now! How exciting! 5 more hours to sleep!

Kthxbai.

2009-04-24T00:28:00.001+08:00

Ah~ one big rock off my shoulders~

Firsts

2009-04-20T23:45:00.005+08:00

Last Thursday was in fact a busy day. Meeting in the afternoon, SAT in the evening and clubbing at night heh. I was reluctant about going to club ya know! Coz it was my first time and I know it myself I really hate crowded places. I get uncomfortable and all whenever I'm around strangers and especially when there's a lot of body contacts. So yea, stayed for only an hour partially coz I had to wake up at 5 the next morning to work too.

Nothing much, drank a little. Not too much coz I didn't want my landlord, who's also my bro's best pal, to find out that I drank. And I don't know what my alcohol capacity is. Better not risk it. Heee.

-----

Saturday was again, spent with Rovers. Hah. We went to Mind Cafe in the afternoon. The first game was Heart Attack. As quoted by Xue Min, "Rovers will never get bored of this game. -_-" HAHA. It's a game whereby players exchange cards by calling out the number of cards and once someone gets his set of cards all in the same colour, he sneakily takes one bone, those who notice will take the remaining bones as well. The only one person left without a bone loses.

And as usual I lost in Heart Attack again. Ugh. Stupid! My response is really really slow! The last time I played was after last year's BTC and I had to do a super kns-ish forfeit, which the details shall not be disclosed! HAHAHA.

What's worse was when everybody already snatched his bone, I was still calling out "1 card, 1 card..." -_- Until like 3 seconds later I realised there's no more bone on the table and I lost. The same thing happened TWICE in a row. -_____-

Oh yes, I wanna complain about Mind Cafe! The portion of their main course was so tiny! I ordered chicken lasagne and the one they served was... twice as smaller as I imagined. Super sad. And I can't believe I actually paid $15 for the lasagne and the board game session. Gah!

After that we went to Yeung Ching Scouts' campfire, the first campfire I've gone to in my whole life. We all screamed like nobody's business coz we wanted to win the Best Supporting Team award! And we thought we were really cheena coz we started cheering in Chinese. The irritating "亲爱的宝贝 *clap x11* 你是最棒的，YES!" and my FAVOURITE "一朵花，两朵花，三朵花，送给你！" (inside jokes) XD

Halfway through the emcee passed the mic to me when we were all singing Chan Mali Chan coz I really looked like I know Malay well (in fact it's true lah HAHAHA bu yao lian)!

Around 9 the emcees marked the end of the campfire and all of us literally died. The guys definitely lost their voices. And you know what? We didn't get the Best Supporting Team award. Why? Coz there isn't any award. -_-

Kns.

Not forgetting our trip down to Geylang and airport in midnight! I haven't been to Changi Airport since forever! We stayed overnight at T3. My conclusion is, I WANNA MOVE IN TO THE AIRPORT! HAHAHA.

You see... the accommodation's definitely free, the food's cheaper too! You know the Korean instant noodles costs only $1.40, usually it's $2.45 at 7-11? If you think the airport's too cold, just head down to T1 and look for the parents' room right beside the gents, there's cushion inside so it's really warm! What else... OH! The toilet! You don't even have to worry about hygiene coz the toilets are just SQUAEKY CLEAN! They have this thing that dispenses alcohol so you can wipe the toilet seat with it together with toilet paper. So atas woo!

Okay I sound really stupid now, but trust me! It'll be an unforgettable experience staying in the airport! XD

-----

First day in school was rather interesting. We have a few rather interesting lecturers this semester. One whose loves of her life are Johnny Depp and Takeshi Kaneshiro. One who always ends his sentence with "Ah? Aaahhhhh~". One who forgot to introduce herself after 30 minutes into the tutorial. One who feels like a typical English teacher to me and slowly she becomes a Chinese teacher. o_o

Meetings, meetings and more meetings this week! So tired but I shall endure and fight till the end! Jiayou to the rest too! Aza~ aza~ fighting! Hiak!

This week

2009-04-14T00:30:00.004+08:00

Had a great time during pre FO at Sentosa! Other than a few small hiccups here and there, everything went well. =) 3 cheers to everyone who helped to make this a success! =D

Anyway hoh, the mosquitoes weren't helping! My toe was swollen even after 2 days. Ugh. Stupid mosquitoes. I shall start worshipping mosquito coil from now onwards. HAHAHA.

Photos are all on Facebook. =)

I headed back to Johor right after. I wasn't expecting a traffic jam on my way back but dang the linkbridge was so jammed. The bus moved like 4-5m like every 5 minutes or so, I swear! It couldn't get any better when I was too tired to stay awake even while standing. Gawd and I was so irritated with the guy in front of me. =.= I carried a huge bag with a tray of eggs on my hand (-_-) then he kept moving backwards! So I had to move a few steps back too, until I couldn't anymore! Ugh. Idiot. In the end I reached home after 3 hours, which usually takes 1.5 hours. Sien. Public holiday + Friday = Disaster.

We had some conflicts during the event. Two headstrong people heh. I'm glad we talked things out and I knows things will definitely turn for the better.

-----

It's been weeks since I started SAT. I've finally overcome the Maths part. Yay! Around 6 more weeks and everything will end. Can't wait! =)

-----

Oh and by the way, I find the story in the previous post rather meaningful. A friend sent it to me few days back. Kinda inspires me in some way or another. It wasn't meant to be an emo post. Hah. And I'll no longer write emo stuff on this blog coz I don't wanna contaminate it with negative aura HEEE.

七个对不起

2009-04-12T20:45:00.002+08:00

七个对不起,换来女孩跳楼，男孩疯了。

男孩和女孩从小就认识，男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾，每次男孩总是满载而归，女孩却是两手空空，女孩总是失落的含着眼泪，独自一个人回到家，然后闷闷不乐。晚饭前，男孩敲响女孩家的门，女孩一见是男孩，扭头就走，男孩追上前，对女孩说：“对不起，我把你的虾都捉走了，给，我把它们养在小鱼缸里，送给你。”女孩眉头一放，慧心的笑了，就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年，转眼，他们各自成长着。

——纯纯的“对不起”。

男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩，经常会把女孩逗到哭，然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止，直到长大后，也是如此。男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有，然后躲在远处，看女孩着急的走投无路，等着女孩拨通他的手机，然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩，依旧那么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来，灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车，任由女孩在一旁发牢骚，男孩却暗自窃喜，然后委屈的对女孩说：“对不起，我知道错了。”随即，女孩便会柔弱下来，告诉男孩下次不允许那样，男孩点头，于是，那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。

——“对不起”的快乐。

大学毕业后，男孩和女孩各自有了工作，男孩的工作总是很忙，有时一个月都休息不到一次，而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她，终于，他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委屈的哭起来，可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩：“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。终于，女孩还是忍不住，主动和男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交，可每次，都是女孩先妥协。
那年，女孩生日，男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日，女孩欣喜不已，她在家精心打扮，等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日，这一等就是凌晨，女孩在睡梦中醒来，脸上挂着泪痕，男孩见到女孩，心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕：“对不起，嫁给我好吗？”于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。

——“对不起”也是一种承诺。

婚后，男孩的事业大有成就，经常有许多应酬，而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了，每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭，把家里收拾的干干净净，她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着，男孩总问他为什么，女孩却总是慧心的一笑。
慢慢的，男孩每次回家，身上总是充满了不同的香水味道，而每次没等女孩问，男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。女孩黯然，那时起，女孩不太爱说话了，也不像以前那么开朗了，她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里，抱着枕头看韩剧，然后随着剧情哭泣，夜深时，就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里，男孩回来时，身上的香水味只有一种味道了，女孩从来不问，可是男孩依旧说：“对不起，今天又去应酬了。”

——“对不起”，谎言的开始。

渐渐的，男孩开始不回家，或总是在外出差，男孩的事业越来越好，身边都是奉承的人，他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着，而女孩，几乎不出门了，她总会去超市买上很多方便面，和一些必要的日用品，然后把自己关在家里，这一呆就是很久。从前，女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天，而现在，她孤身一人，身边没有一个可以说话的人，每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家，男孩总是仓促的回答到：“对不起，我太忙了。”女孩，失落的扣上电话，那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会回家。

——“对不起”，只是个敷衍的方式。

女孩学着电视上的样子，开始打扮自己，她觉得男孩不回家，也许是看腻了她，她决定不再颓废，自己的幸福应该靠自己争取，而不是无谓的后退。
那天，女孩心血来潮，按照地址去了男孩工作的地方，那是女孩第一次去，也是唯一的一次。女孩涩涩的按下电梯，来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方，她细细的观察这个公司的每个角落，这里的一切，她都觉得很好看。终于，绕过长长的办公走廊，她来到男孩的办公室，轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了，眼前看到的不是自己的丈夫，也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子，更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩，而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。那个女人坐在桌子上，******的发出微弱的呻吟声，那个男人，仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……
许久，男孩才发现了女孩，男孩惊慌失措，忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。可女孩，转身离开了。男孩飞奔出去，追着女孩，那晚，大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫喊，径直往前跑，往回家的方向跑，男孩在女孩后面大喊：“对不起，我还是爱你的，对不起，我真的只爱你。”可女孩，始终没有听见。

——这样的“对不起”太伤人。

男孩一直都没有找到女孩，女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗，无心工作，无心花天酒地，他想不到女孩可以去哪里，因为女孩没有朋友，她唯一的朋友就是男孩，男孩终日守着电话机，手机24小时不关机，怕错过了女孩的电话。这一等就是半年多。
快递为男孩送来一个盒子。
男孩打开一看，里面是许多河虾的标本，有的在树叶边休息，有的在水草里躲着，各式各样的河虾标本，旁边放着一封信。

“ 我始终没有勇气再见到你，可能是我太懦弱，也或许是我根本不想见到你，我想这些『警告：注意文明用语！』应该过的没什么两样吧，我很好，我学会了离开你怎么让自己存活，我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己，而不用每天等着你回家，为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜，直到凉了也不见你的人，我的手机已经不用了，因为我已经不会再为你24小时的不关机，让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己，珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。我想，我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的，因为你把我的爱弄得遍地麟伤。离婚协议书，就压在鱼缸的底下，你签完字，按照地址给我寄过来就行了。

对不起，我想我是真的累了。”

男孩按照地址找去，他满心希望能够见到女孩，然后让女孩原谅，并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她，可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲，而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是女孩的遗像。
女孩的父亲告诉男孩，女孩在写完这封信后，跳楼自杀了，血肉一片模糊。

——原来“对不起”也可以是种结束。

那一年，男孩疯了。

每个人在自己的生命里头，一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人，不是每一句的对不起，都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人，那对谁，都不好……把这个故事传下去，让你的朋友们知道，不要随意地说出对不起……

傻瓜

2009-04-06T13:36:00.002+08:00

“故事平凡得在哪一个城镇里都有可能发生。”

……可感人的亲情和纯纯的爱情却让我看得泣不成声。

The Long Awaited Gathering

2009-04-05T13:52:00.008+08:00

The Earth Hour was spent together with primary school friends at Golden Steamboat, Penang... with lights on. =X Had a primary school gathering first time in 6 years after we all graduated from Phor Tay Primary School in 2002. The initial plan was to spend it romantically with Kiam XD But nevermind~ we still spent it together~ with lotsa light bulbs~ =X

I was super super late eheh, with valid reason! And I haven't seen the rest for so long! Everyone changed so much that I couldn't recognise some of them, especially the guys! Damn funny heh. Most of the girls went on to the same seconday school as I did, but all the guys went to other schools.

Yee Mun, my image consultant heh

She's the maniac. Don't even get near her whenever it's exam period. You might get killed. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Then again, I kinda liked studying next to her. Can eavesdrop on whatever she's chanting. She would sit there and start chanting to her own, e.g. sajak. Like REAL chanting you know. And you know I used to be really really lazy and I always do last minute studying. So I'd just pretend to sit next to her then I'd go "ahhh~ I see~" Then I happily sit for the paper with all her tips HAHAHAHAHAHA.

She's also my image consultant, she was the one who dragged me to buy my first piece of skirt. =.=

My favourite girls, Yee Mun and Wei Qian

I don't remember using whose camera to take a photo with Wei Qian... but anyway, she's my best best best friend in primary school! We're almost the same height... we're both BELOW the average height... =.= So until now, whenever we meet, we'll still compare heights! We knew each other since the first week of school and we'd been classmates since then. We'd hold hands to the canteen and order the same food, or pakat not eat at all! I used to tell her that I wanna live together with her when we grow up! Hahahaha so girlie! Too bad we didn't go to the same secondary school.

Oh and there used to be this ~~irritating bugger~~ classmate who used to tease us that we're lesbians. Heh damn funny. -_- But yea lah, quite. XD

My date for the night, Kiam XD

We weren't close at all during primary school years. I can't remember when she joined our class. Back then the class was divided into 3 groups and we were never in the same group. Somehow somewhat we became really really close in sec 4 and now she's my hubby~ ♥ After all these years, she said I did change. However there's one thing that has never changed and that is...

... I'm still as short as ever.

-______________-

Ya lah ya lah I was always the shortest in class, topping the chart okay! Whenever we queue up, I always ALWAYS queue in the first few, and she's always the last few. Kns.

Soo Ping

Ehee. I call her pig skin, coz her name's Soo Ping. Soo Ping Zhu Pi pig skin. XD

Yi Zhen

She's just like Yee Mun, a maniac. Heh. Same species. Oh and do you see that super tall girl behind us? That's Seah Qing. Super super tall. 178cm. And you know what she loves to do? Stand beside me and rest her arm on my shoulder. -_-

Eelyn, the organizer of the gathering

Another one that can sing really well. She called me few weeks before and asked if I was going back. She was the primary school 1st gathering pre

The girls~

A few more guys came as well. I couldn't recognize them! Most of the girls went on to the same all-girl school with me but the guys left Phor Tay. And my small little social circle back then mostly consisted of girls. Heh.

328 yang cacat... =.=
(Back) Kean Aik, Soo Ping, Yee Ling, Yi Zhen, Yee Mun, Seah Qing, Jun Ren, Wei Loon
(Front) Mei Kuan, Sharon, Wei Qian, Soo Bee, Kim Hooi, Ju Yin, Wei Loon

There're a few more people that I either did not take photo with them or that I totally forgot whose camera I used.

Reminiscing the days we spent together, recollecting the memories we had~ There were times I wish that time would stop at the last few weeks of primary 6 coz those were the days that I really enjoyed. Why just the last few weeks? Coz it was already the end of UPSR, so can go school and play games HAHAHA.

Photos courtesy of Eelyn
-----

In the morning, I went back to my secondary school. It's now moved to the new building.

I screamed when I took the lift. T_T How unfair can it be? Our old school used to be what... 3-storey high? And there's two freaking lifts in a school! Anyhoo it was a complicated feeling. I despaired not being able to study in the new 6-storey building but at the same time I was relieved that I didn't have to climb 6 flights of stairs everyday heh. Students are not allowed to use the lift HIAK HIAK HIAK. *evil laugh*

One of the labs with my dear skeleton Ton Ton behind.

We spent most of our lesson in science lab during the last 2 years of my secondary school life. The chairs are from the old building and they even moved my dear Ton Ton to the new building! How delighted I was when I saw him~ +.+

The two units that I devoted my school life to.

Went around, saw the juniors practising Chinese yo-yos and lion dance. Although now they enrol boys as well, I still prefer it being an all-girl school! It's so much cooler especially when the school has the first all girl lion dance troop in Penang. I realised my school upkeeps a really strong Chinese culture. o_o Which I like. Heee.

-----
Random photos from the trip

LKK my driver for the day. Kns drive so fast. My saliva kept flowing out whenever I tried to talk to her from the back. =.=

I ♥ PG

2009-04-02T00:17:00.002+08:00

The main buttons on my phone are all dead!

First it was just the green and red buttons not working. Then fine, I used the left and right menu buttons to call then. Just a lil fussy, but no big deal.

After I made like one or two phone calls, the left menu button stopped responding. =.= *optimistic* Still~ I can send text messages.

Theeeeennnnnnn, I think it was two days after my phone started malfunctioning, all the button, except the keypad, completely stopped responding. -_-

So yea lah, now my phone's no better than a dai gor dai. Can pick up calls only. -_-

Healing from...

2009-03-17T20:40:00.000+08:00

... homesick. =D

2009-03-08T00:35:00.001+08:00

And he says, le falto.

=)

悲伤

2009-03-06T23:48:00.001+08:00

悲伤，不是拿来酗酒或作为一蹶不振的借口，而是用来确定快乐确实存在的理由。

~ 夏娃

A New Home, A Long Overdue Present

2009-03-04T15:38:00.011+08:00

I've finally moved out of my aunt's house to the current house in Bukit Panjang. Moved out coz of some personal reasons. Don't ask me why.

My aunt called on the same day. She said she couldn't bear to see me go. So she didn't come home the night before. I was already feeling a little gloomy that morning. A sense of guilt. Well, maybe not guilt. Just didn't feel right. I have my reasons to move out. And I'm not turning back but I promised her that I'll be visiting her every now and then.

On a lighter note! My roommate hasn't moved in yet! o_o She's gonna move in next week when she gets back from KL. For the time being I shall have the whole room to myself.

Just my belongings alone have already taken up most of the space in the cupboard! I can't imagine what can two girls do to a small little cosy room! The room's nice, really! Before I moved my things in! Hahaha! Now it's so cramped! With only my stuff. Heh. Kns.

On the same day, it was also Rovers' Visioning Day. By the time I finished moving everything to the new house with my bro's help and headed there straight, the meeting had ended. o_o Meh. But still! Caught up with them and went LAN gaming with them. Heh heh heh. Played Left 4 Dead heh heh heh. While my poor bro went to shop for my stuff. =.= Someone should kill me for this. Heh heh heh. Distractions. ~.~

The landlord's young son is really cute! I asked what's his name and he hid behind his mom! Sooo cute! Then the next day I think somehow he thinks I'm no longer so fearsome =.= This time he peeped into my room and when I turned, he hid again. HAHA!

Oh and Smelly (my new name for him =D) finally gave me the long overdue Valentine's present. I kept teasing him "Eh, why don't you just give me the present on 13th Feb next year?" HAHAHA. Such an anal gf hoh. XD Eh eh but I'm not the only one. Even his roommate Ah Bao (XD) thought it was kinda... late.

The present was so so so so sweet! I almost teared when I opened the capsule. Gawd how much time had he spent on it. I was whining about not getting flowers. (Well, just whining. Unintentionally. You know how much girls like to whine right. =.= ) Heee.

Thank you. =)

Grandpa

2009-02-21T13:24:00.006+08:00

Niece : 爷爷，做么你整天吃不饱的？ (Grandpa, why are you always hungry?)
Dad : ...
Niece : 你的肚子很大吗？(Is is because you have a big tummy?)
Dad : ... *eats*

Ahh kids will be kids. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No, I don't think my dad's a big eater, at least for a middle-aged man, he isn't. Heh. He just happened to be eating whenever my niece's awake. And my niece always notices whoever that's eating in the kitchen.

2009-02-21T02:58:00.005+08:00

You know, there are times when you wish you'd never grow up. So many decisions to make, so many dilemmas you're in, so many people you have to please that you wish you are still a child, and everything is well taken care of.

When you are sad, as a child, you cry and there'll always be an adult holding you, assuring you, saying "everything's okay". Even when you're throwing a fit, it's either, you get what you want, or you get punished. Simple as that. And at the end of the day, you still have your parents, always there no matter what.

And as you grow up, you learn. You learn how to be independent. You're on your own. Now that you have your own wings, but where can you fly to? Having a pair of wings may be graceful, but have you ever thought how fragile they can be? Time goes by, your wings have hardened and you stop wanting to fly. You stop venturing because, it's just too tired.

Now you're on your feet. No worries, there's still people who are willing to take a stroll with you. These people are those who reach out for your hand, who pull you through difficulties, who give you promises. You know you can always rely on them. Slowly, your wings are healed and you are ready to fly again.

Without you yourselif realising, the clouds, the sky, they are right in front of your eyes, for you to venture.

Valentine's

2009-02-19T22:06:00.007+08:00

So I met uncle in the afternoon after I got bored with my revision at the library. And kns, my cousin kept teasing me about Valentine's that day so in the end I got sienified. And sooo the sienified smart me decided to ignore him and go to Boon Lay library with just a plain oversized T-shirt and a pair of shorts. AHAH! What a smart choice!

My outfit on Valentine's Day was such an epic. SPSU T-shirt and shorts. And my shorts were even too long. HAHAH wth. =.=

We did some last minute grocery shopping. And we thought hmmm, maybe we could prepare a full course meal! And we did. XD

He almost wanted to kill me coz I kept taking random ingredients from the aisle. Like what... shitake mushroom, pork balls, random veggies and fruits, etc. etc. etc.

We finally settled down with the stuff we picked. I was satisfied! We paid and off we went!

I cut my thumb with a pair of scirssors while preparing the ingredients. -_- Knives have always been my biggest fear in the kitchen and now I got cut, not with knife, but with scissors! What logic is that! (No logic lah actually HAHAHA syok sendiri slap me please =.= )

After 2 hours in the kitchen, we came out with these! Heh.

Tadaaaaaa! 爱心晚餐! XD

Mushroom soup for starter, spaghetti with chicken fillet, omelette and Taiwan sausages (this is what you call 中西合拼, mix of culture =X), and ice cream for desserts!

Gotta be thankful! Uncle said it's the first time he has ever cooked for someone. =))

Thank youuuuuu <3 <3 =D

I wrote a letter and photoshopped our photos a bit since I'm such a Photoshop addict. Heh.

We took this photo at the Volvo Ocean Race and I love the photo to bits! It was taken with a SLR. Anything taken with a SLR must be nice right! Hee.

2009-02-19T21:54:00.002+08:00

Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down.

The V Thingy

2009-02-01T00:40:00.001+08:00

It all started with a pen... that vibrates with a push of a button at the end... -_-

And there goes my innocence. T__T

2009-01-29T23:40:00.001+08:00

解不开的心结。

我也希望能解开。

Quote of The Day

2009-01-29T01:03:00.000+08:00

There is always a better person but there is only one person that u wanna to grow old with.

CNY Greetings

2009-01-27T15:52:00.001+08:00

Happy Niuuuuuuuuuu Year everyone!

Thank You

2009-01-22T23:59:00.003+08:00

I realise that things don't happen without a reason. For now, I shall keep an open mind.

And again, thanks everyone.

Aiya, this is so corny but kns, tak kisah lah. XD

Uncle aka Nick (or should I announce your full name to the whole world? =X), thank you for being there for me whenever I'm down. <3! I know you're worried, but you know how strong I am right? =)
SLG, sorry to have made you worried, didn't mean to. Heh. Thank youuuu!
LQ, thank you for the phone call. I didn't expect that, but still, again, thank you! Oh and... *stabs* =D
Justin, for listening to me. And bitching along with me. Heh. ^^"
Mich, thanks for the advice babe. =)
Qi Yun, thank you, for never failing to sense the gloominess in me and cheering me up. =D
Ser Ser, thanks for the retail therapy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I feel blessed. =)

2009-01-22T09:53:00.002+08:00

说好要常通电话，说好要保持联络，说好不会忘记彼此，说好要当一辈子的好朋友，说好要当一辈子的姐妹，说好要当一辈子的三公婆……

说好的一切一切…… 什么承诺？什么约定？

一切都是假的。

越想越伤心，除了哭还是哭。

什么都不想管了。

伤心透了。彻底地伤透了。

Restless

2009-01-19T13:44:00.013+08:00

I've had sleepless nights since last Thurs. After waking up at 6.10 in the morning to rush to school for final dry run for IVP discussion cafe, I stayed awake for 30 hours. Wooo! Record breaking!

-_-

Anyway, as usual, with Rovers we were helping out for Volvo Ocean Race Singapore Stopover at One° 15 Marina Club where the Scouts Association had their Scouts Day over the venue. Initially I thought I could get more sleep by waking up late if I was to stay overnight. Who knew we had to stay up till 3 for the rehearsal for the sea ceremony and also recce round the place? I spent 2756932 hours trying to figure out the right position to hold a boatswain pipe to change its pitch.

Failed miserably. Oh wait, I did succeed. Once. And once I let go of the pipe again, I couldn't get back the right position ever again. -_-

Since I couldn't get the high pitch right, soooo whenever the rest of the pipers were tuning at the high pitch, I would just stop blowing into the pipe. Heh. =X So instead of going low-high-low, I went low-*silence*-low. Heeeeeeeee. Slap meh please.

OH YA! I asked uncle to take a photo of me holding the pipe just in case I forget the right position again. -_- Got proof one hoh!

(Proof of me being dumb and sia-sueying myself. As usual. -_-)

Other troops went to get some rest after 3. We had to stay to finish the posters for the next day's booth. I was counting how many hours I still have till 30 hours then. 30 hours = SQ! Zaiii!

The event ended on Friday in the evening. I was undescribly(?) tired. The sunlight was sooo strong that I had muscle cramp on the forehead coz I squinted my eyes too long. Kns I know lah where got people get muscle cramp on the forehead one? -_-

Finally had some good rest before waking up to go to school for revision. Again, on Sat night, Rovers had a small night expedition. Heh.

We got a small lorry and drove to Lim Chu Kang Chinese cemetery. There was once a driver who drove into the cemetery and never got out. The next day his corpse was found, burnt. Surprisingly, the car was still intact. Nothing happened to the car, at all.

Next was an abandoned HDB. Rumours had it that all the residents moved out overnight. Apparently, there's a pontianak roaming around the place. o_O

The abandoned HDB.

Em. It was rather a short walk. And both places were rather... peaceful. o_o

The finale of the expedition was going up to the Old Changi Hospital. It used to be a military hospital and 10 years ago the hospital.

Old Changi Hospital.

I felt uneasy after the expedition. I called my mom and asked if she could get me an amulet. HEH. =X Slap me again please ~~and die miserably~~ XD

2009-01-18T17:14:00.003+08:00

在你身边，我是幸福的。

Nah, here's a cuppa coffee for you! With love! XD

2009-01-15T00:47:00.001+08:00

[MR. KENNETH] 7 Letters 5 Alphabets 3 Words 1 Meaning. says:
sharon chio bu!
|BouncyEgg| Boink! says:
..
|BouncyEgg| Boink! says:
you got sth to ask me right
[MR. KENNETH] 7 Letters 5 Alphabets 3 Words 1 Meaning. says:
you tmr free?
[MR. KENNETH] 7 Letters 5 Alphabets 3 Words 1 Meaning. says:
hahas.
|BouncyEgg| Boink! says:
KNEW IT!

6th sense or Mr Kenneth's just sooooo predictable? -_-

2009-01-09T18:59:00.004+08:00

I'm going mad managing an a few events at one time soon. Sigh.

So stressed. Gah.

~~I think~~ I need to stop procrastinating. My gawd. I've been telling myself not to procrastinate, but I think uh.. I didn't do a very good job at it hah! -_-

I've been very cranky this few days, waking up in the morning, feeling grumpy and moody. I wonder if my good friend's visiting soon. -_- I'm also confused, over why I'm so cranky. I start to dislike a lot of things this week, agitated by anything I see. Ugghhhh. And that made me to rely on him, more and more. o_o

I remembered having myself in this state 2 years ago, SPM year. Worst year ever. Yet it was also the best year ever. The feeling only subsided after SPM ended, then I started to lose my life, bit by bit. Eheh. Not exactly a good thing also. Heh.

My blog's getting the negative aura from me! Not good! XD

Oh well~

2008-12-21T18:05:00.002+08:00

What is wrong with you all again? Can't you just stop all this shit?

Enough already.

2008-12-21T17:37:00.003+08:00

唉，有点失望。

原以为今天能见到你的……

想你了。臭uncle，到底要回来了没？ T_T

2008-12-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

I dragged SK-II out today to get something for that someone! Heeeeee. And SK-II got something for his someone too! The conclusion was, I have better taste than SK-II. ^^V Even SK-III agreed, hah!

Sigh, come back soon! T_T

The Salesperson

2008-12-19T00:26:00.003+08:00

Almost died today carrying all the filming equipments back to school today.

Luckily I got my SK-II to help me. SK-II means Sai Kang Warrior Gen-2 HAH! And while we were half dead and all tired, this lady had to come up to me and asked if I was selling anything. Kanasay! Which part of me look like a salesperson?

We reached school and I was telling Justin the SK-II if we went up there to find noone in the studio then gg loh. Guess what happened?

Mr. Sng went out for lunch. AHAH! -_-

Photos from the filming soon! Loads of fun ~~and sai kang that I feel like a man~~ I tell you!

Then again...

2008-12-18T21:11:00.003+08:00

So what if I can't do a backdrop?
So what if I slip and fall?
So what if I don't have a dance partner?

I shall dance like nobody's watching.

2008-12-06T02:10:00.001+08:00

傻婆auntie和傻佬uncle，哈哈哈！

2008-11-29T22:41:00.003+08:00

I'm soooooooo gonna get killed soon.

I just stuck a memory stick into a SD slot

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

... and the laptop's not mine! It's uncle's!

Kns kns kns! I'm so bimbotic can! >_<

Gawd.

2008-11-26T23:06:00.002+08:00

I shall block out everything that might hurt me.
I shall not feel any pain even when it's bleeding inside.
I shall put a big smile on me, all the time.

I shall be the bad girl from today onwards. Trust me, you'll do fine without me.

=)

Growing up

2008-11-26T00:35:00.007+08:00

Lock it up. Throw away the key. (~fixmein-45)

I don't want to feel sad anymore. I know I've tried my best even if you think I have not. You're losing faith in me, aren't you? You'll do fine albeit not having me, really. I'm sorry for not being able to be your pillar of strength when you needed me. There're a lot more people out there who cares for you girl, you're not alone. You were never alone, you know that. For now, we all need time. Time heals everything, isn't it?

I don't see any point crying over spilled milk now. I'm sorry if you think I'm harsh and that I don't care. No matter what happens, life still goes on. I know many years later, I'll look back, and smile.

Certainly there are things that you regret doing in life. To regret, that's the only thing you can do. Will it change the fact that what's done is done? No. As I was saying, life still goes on.

When life is not in favour of you, it might be a blessing in disguise. You learn, and you grow.

And just as you think everyone in the world has turned his back on you, you might realise that you have your back on everyone instead. Look behind, and smile. You're not alone. Noone is. Out there somewhere, there'll be someone who's worried for you, who cares for you.

Goodbye.

2008-11-20T00:44:00.001+08:00

I read your post.

I'm crying so badly that I can't breathe, can't see a thing. can't speak a word.

2008-11-17T23:48:00.001+08:00

16 November 2008.

A day to remember. =)

<3!

Uncle&Auntie

The Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee

2008-11-16T13:43:00.002+08:00

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar... and the coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a infamous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things. Your family, your children, your faith, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions. Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter. Your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

女孩应该原谅男孩的10个地方

2008-11-16T13:17:00.004+08:00

偶然收到的一篇文章……

1 如果你喜欢他就告诉他，即使他拒绝了，也不会丢面子，因为在他心里，会因为你的真情而非常非常感激你。

2 如果他喜欢你，要明确告诉他你对他的感情，喜欢就是喜欢，不喜欢就是不喜欢，千万不要怕伤害他而忧郁不决，不要让他等到最后才受到抛弃，因为男孩子的心一旦碎了就很难很难再好起来。

3 男孩子也有自己的脾气，只是因为爱你而压抑着，不要总是任性，有时他们的决定也很有道理.

4 男孩子莫名的向你发脾气，那时因为爱你，把你当成最亲，最贴心，最有安全感的人，千万不要冲他发脾气反击，静静的等着，等他消气后满怀后悔来抱你。

5 他为你准备的东西，即使再难看，再廉价，也要去珍惜，因为那里面融汇着他整晚的思绪。

6 相信他给你多么多么美好的生活，要给他鼓励，因为鼓励会让他创造奇迹。

7 不要总是打探他去哪，告诉他注意安全，你会等着他就可以。

8 不要总说~我爱你~，他会半真半笑着说你烦，但不要不说，因为有时候，他们比女孩子更需要这句。

9 他为你掉眼泪了，那么他是真的非常爱你，珍惜他的每一滴泪，不要道歉，不要安慰，握着他的手，默默的为他擦去泪滴。

10 要信任他，他爱你，就什么都不会骗你，即使真的有欺骗，也是为让你们的爱情能够永远不离不弃。

Kanasay

2008-11-16T00:59:00.004+08:00

Just happened to remember what my friend taught me last year.

Nop, the spelling is correct, no typo. And it's not even pronounced the way you think it is.

It's not kar-nuh-suh-ee kanasai, it's ken-ner-say kanasay!

Kanasay (ken-ner-say) is the ang-mohified version of the typical Singaporean kanasai, which sounds so rough and ungraceful. =X Instead of saying "I missed the stupid bus again lah kanasai!", you say "I missed the stupid bus again kanasay~".

Uh huh, so all of you can go and curse for all you want now.

Kthxbai.

2008-11-15T13:48:00.002+08:00

如果你做什么事都需要别人的认可，你做人的目的也只是得到别人的认可。这只会让你被人影响，而不是你影响人。

2008-11-15T00:21:00.009+08:00

It's been so long since we last talked.

Everything's starting to fall back into place now, I guess?
I hope.

---

I've heard a lot of stories for the past few days. Love stories.
Happy ones, sweet ones, hurtful ones, disappointing ones...

I felt so encouraged and discouraged at the same time. -_- What irony.

Thinking of mine, I feel stupid sometimes. I think I've fallen for the wrong person. Beyond lost.
You idiot. You make me feel like a fool.
I wanna give up but you keep giving me hope. Or is it just me?
Yea I think it's just the very naive me thinking that "Oh maybe I can wait" or trying very hard to convince myself we're just friends. Good friends. Yea right. Okay maybe we are. I'm thinking too much, aren't I?

Emptiness.

2008-11-13T13:11:00.002+08:00

Sharon is not happy.

IDEA sucks. School sucks. No more incentive to go to school.

No idea why.

2008-11-10T23:46:00.002+08:00

A message so short yet so impactful.

My actions and words don't mean that much, but they still make an impact however small. Make your impact. You're more than a quiet person, more than a face in the crowd.

Thank you. I appreciate that. =)

2008-11-04T14:14:00.006+08:00

I had a wonderful birthday this year, except for the fact that I couldn't spend it with my parents and I stepped into my birthday in camp.

The celebration started off pretty early, two day before the actual day.

Thanks to Michy Wichy and Justin for the little surprise! That was the pre-birthday celebration.

The morning class was cancelled that day so I could reach there by 1. I woke up feeling tired so I sms-ed the 2 of them that I wasn't meeting them for our usual lunch then. And omg, Michy replied "omg." and that was it. -_- Apparently she took a cab down to school coz she thought we were having lunch. And then Justin called me, again, and again, and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. I was pissed of course! I was about to scold him for calling me for a gazillion times when I saw a little cake on the table. Yea they saw my super long face. -_-

Yes they had a surprise for me!

Thanks to Charmaine for the necklace as well. It's pretty!

Thanks to the Rovers peeps for the post-camp celebration as well. Though the cake cutting session wasn't that pleasant. *cough* For one moment I thought I had to spend my birthday doing push ups, crunches and jumping jacks! *gasps*

Thanks to our group of friends who celebrated my birthday on Sunday. Thanks for coming down ehee! I had heaps of fun that night! =D And yea, everyone was addicted to the bang bang game and the one plus one game that night. =.=

1+1=0
2+2=0
3+3=0
4+4=0
5+5=0
6+6=2
7+7=0
8+8=4
9+9=2
...

o_O

Oh yes, and the letter Piggie sent to me!

Thanks for all the wishes and smses!

Don't Forget The Lyrics™ Singapore

2008-11-01T00:29:00.000+08:00

Of course there're benefits as a mass comm student (they call us the mass comm people). Other than the neverending assignments (as if other courses don't hah!) and formal presentations (we have a lot more than youuuu, so stop complaining), we go for field trips!

What kind of field trip?

Mass comm + field trip = ?

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Paying a visit to MediaCorp studio, becoming the audience for their variety show and witnessing the backstage preparation with our own eyes. And best of all, talking to celebrity face to face and photo snapping!

I was one of the SP DMC students that were part of the audience for Don't Forget The Lyrics™ Singapore. Just for two contestants, the recording took 5 hours, with a small break in between. Just coordinating the o took more than half an hour.

We didn't just sit there. It's a gameshow where the contestants sing! We were told to do a lot of grooving, waving, dancing to hype up the atmostphere!

High tech equips huh.

Gurmit Singh is the host for the show and boy is he funny! Since the crew don't just do one take for each stage, they had to repeat takes again and again so that they would get the best shot. While the crew were at it, Gurmit was chatting with us. And he asked if anyone's from Malaysia! I raised my hand and told him I'm from Penang yay! =X Apparently a coursemate of mine, was very interested in Penang. So somehow he approached me and asked me a lot on Penang. What amazing experiences you get when you study overseas right.

Halfway through the recording, Kym Ng dropped by and said hi to all of us! How nice of her! And the heel of the contestant's shoes came off. So the contestant's "nanny" got him another pair of shoes. For both the contestants, the management assigned a girl to look after the contestants, making sure that they wouldn't feel nervous or feel uncomfortable a single bit. You don't see these on TV k!

Oh oh and when we were having our break, we took the chance Gurmit for a photo and he said "YES OF COURSE!" He is super friendly and funny can! And such a drama king! I forgot how many times he SS-ed (syok sendiri) in the studio and started to self direct cum self act (自导自演) o_O I could've asked him to do the legendary "PCK Ptd. Ltd., best in Singapore and JB. And some say Batam" right! Aiyer! Nemai. I'm contented...

... especially with this! XD *overjoyed*

2008-10-31T00:31:00.005+08:00

I reached home, walked into my room with droopy eyes. Glanced at the desk and I saw a letter.

Ohmyfreakinggoditsaletterfromthepig! I ran to my desk and quickly torn open the letter. Dang how I miss her. Haha. I'm so so so happy that she actually wrote me a letter. =)

She told me how she felt when I stayed over at her house the other time. And what she thought of me all this while. I guess she must be very emotional when she was writing the letter?

I was really really happy and excited when I saw a letter on the desk. I can't even remember the last time I got a letter! Nowadays letters are so rare!

And that pig sent me her self portrait as well! How nice of her huh.

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Ya lah, this is the so-called self portrait that I asked her to send me. -_-

2008-10-25T01:19:00.004+08:00

I have this thought that having 2 close friends is better than just one. As in, usually girls will have another girl whom they call bestie. And it's rather an one-on-one friendship.

And the one that I said was the kind where there's 3 people involved in this friendship. Like A, B and C. Okay let's call the kind of friendship I meant "happy tree friends" k? XD

If A has some conflicts with B, C can be the middleman. If B has conflicts with C, A can help. Where as for one-on-one friendship, once there's unsolved conflict and if it's not handled properly, whoosh! Gone. Of course it doesn't apply to everyone lah, I'm just saying.

Past experiences taught me that no matter how minor a problem is, once it involves emotions and feelings, you ought to get help or maybe advice from someone else.

2008-10-24T00:15:00.002+08:00

I'm devoting half my ~~life~~ week for CCAs! 3 days per week for dance, 1 day for Rovers Instructorship Course.

Dance has been fun for the past few weeks. I've finally decided to join formation team though I'm still struggling the learn the routine for cha cha. I didn't grasp the basics when our instructor taught us for the first time. That time, I was still the "gentleman" with a female partner. -_- Think I really looked ugly and boyish back then. O_o

Mich, my "sister from another mother" is complaining that I'm not spending enough time with her! Hmph! She's probably got jealous of my dance partner d. HAHAHA.

Financial wise... not very good. o_o Textbooks for the new semester cost me $70 and there goes my monthly allowance. I'm trying to self control so that I don't ~~starve~~ overspend.

I saw this woman in her early 30s on the bus last night. She was sitting there, right opposite me, mining for gold in her nose.

-_-

With her index finger somemore. I stared at her for a while and she did take a glance at me. We had eye contact. But she just blatantly dao-ed me. Omg when she finally succeeded mining the gold inside her nose I was so so so worried. I didn't even know where she's gonna stick her gold. Or was she going to just tick the booger away? o_O

Amusing.

收拾心情

2008-10-18T12:21:00.008+08:00

刚读了猪猪的部落格，她说她不想长大。文章的题目，“长大的世界，一点都不好玩”。

我还记得，在上幼稚园的时候，那时的我是多么渴望长大呀！我天真地以为，工作回家看电视，什么功课都没有是多好的一件事！（我的称号是“戏大嫂”，因为我可以从早到晚吻着电视）大了，却渴望能飞到Neverland，永远不会长大。

2003年，上中学了。朋友多了，可真心的有几个…… 我不懂。时间与距离，朋友一个一个离开。虽然每天都见见面、挥挥手、说说笑，心与心的距离却愈来愈远。所谓的“好朋友”、“好姐妹”无法持久。可能一年是姐妹，下一年是朋友，那… 再下一年呢？

上了中五，每天在倒数毕业典礼的到来。很迷惘。应该是因毕业临近吧？这年的我很珍惜在我身边的两只动物。

……

最近，心情跌到谷底。离开家人，离开朋友，一个人来到一个陌生的国家。常常觉得自己是一个人的。

到底我远赴新加坡求学是为了谁？为了什么？值得吗？

如果我现在还身在槟城，我是不是会比较快乐？我会不会还是以前的那个我？

我在这里有真正了解我的朋友吗？在我需要支持的时候，谁会在我身边？

好多好多疑问。在学院的日子，果然和中学时期不同。我意想不到的事都一一发生了。Yen，开始相信你之前所说的话了……也明白为什么上了学院，你变了那么多。

曾经一度想放弃这里的一切，回到从前的日子。可是人永远是向前走的。就算我回到槟城，我也只是逃避问题。我想，其实在这里也不错呀。虽然偶尔觉得寂寞，偶尔会想念老公们，但就因为这样，我们更珍惜这份友情，对吗？

长大的过程会累，没错。可是，先苦后甜嘛！Every cloud has a silver lining. 用心去看，耐心去找，一定会看见晴天！

多少人为生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我们是不是该知足
珍惜一切就算没有拥有

嗯，《稻香》里的一句。

曾经听过一个故事。

有一位老师在白板上画了一个黑点。她问学生们看到了什么。学生不约而同地说他们看到板上的黑点。

……

老师惊讶地说：“你们看到白板上的黑点，看不见一大片白板吗？” 人往往都把注意力放在“黑点”上，忽略了那一大片的“白板”。

故事带给我们的启示是：“每个人的优点都很多，换一个角度去看吧！换一种眼光去看吧！“黑点”固然瞩目，但是“白板”带给人的方便和快乐是不是更多呢？”

对于种种困难，换个角度去看吧！

……

随着年龄的增长，脸上的豆豆自然多了。这些豆豆就好像我们的烦恼一样，挤出来会很痛，也需要时间痊愈。

豆豆多，搽搽pimple cream不就好了？对啦，有些死豆豆怎样都去不了，不过它又不会留在脸上一辈子的嘛！Pimple cream搽多点，它迟早会“开花结果”！（很奇怪的philosophy，不过same theory applies k!）

烦恼多，值得我们珍惜的东西也更多了，对不对？没有失去过，怎懂得珍惜？亲情、友情或爱情，一样的原理。

……

活了十八年，好多事情让我觉得很烦，甚至心慌。可我不也一一度过了吗？就算再难，也只是时间上的问题。有些事会让我伤心绝望好一阵子，有些事一下就过去了。时间长或短，我都一样走过去了。

记得，遇到瓶颈，决不放弃。Things happen for a reason. “黑点”或“白板”？那只在于那一瞬间的想法。

猪猪、猴子、Uncle，加油！Sunny side up精神！
Michelle, Justin, 02, nothing's gonna bring us down! Like what Mich said, we'll make it through together. =)

The sunny side of things! *points to banner*

是时候好好收拾心情了，骆瑞芳。

2008-10-16T22:08:00.003+08:00

Everything is just screwed up. I didn't even know if I did the right thing. Yes, I've finally spoken out what I had been keeping for so long but seriously I don't think it helped a bit. Now things are getting tenser.

People getting upset. Friendship lost. Trust broken.

I think history is repeating itself.

I tried to stay strong, like I always do. I don't know what's gotten into me today. I just broke down. What the hell was going on? I thought I would feel better but no, think I screwed things up. Yayness.

To you... I don't know... I just wanted things to get better. Both of you get along, happy group of friends together, like we did last time. Long long time ago.

I've lost a friend.

I'm alright. I need time to recover. Just a short period of time. Give me scotch tape and I'll stick the cracked egg back.

2008-10-13T22:55:00.002+08:00

First day in school. It was kinda, horrible. I felt so awful. I seriously don't know what I can do.

Things are so screwed up these days.

2008-10-09T20:35:00.000+08:00

Reminder to self:

没有先天的天资，只有后天的努力。

Jiayou in dance, Eggie! =)

Minesweeper Flag

2008-10-03T01:57:00.002+08:00

Me : *clicks* *blue flag*
Me : *clicks again* *blue flag* o_O
Me : *hesitating, clicks again* *blue flag* !!!
Friend : O_o

2008-10-02T18:08:00.002+08:00

The cough's baaaad, real bad. I was coughing so bad for the past few nights that I couldn't sleep. o_o

And eeww the phlegm's disgusting! Think I'm too heaty already and the colour's not chalky, not green, but brown. Damn disgusting. And the smell of the phlegm in my throat keeps coming up =( Smells so fishy O_o Or is it because of the fish I had for brunch? HAHA. =.=

Cigarette smoke is not helping either. I'm suffocating and I still have to bear with the smell that's killing me. Ugh. Now I remembered something. The inventor of cigarette himself was not a smoker. A big thank you to him hoh, for attempting to banish the world. =D

K fine, maybe his intention wasn't bad. -_-

2008-09-27T00:42:00.003+08:00

I feel bad. That kind of feeling is coming back to me again. The... 左右为难 kind of feeling?

Sis, are you alright? We're worried! o_o

And to Apple, thanks for voicing it out. I don't know? At leat I don't have to keep myself guessing?

2008-09-25T21:25:00.002+08:00

OH. MY. GAWD.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I love my blog!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I finally got a dance partner! And I think my blog is miraculous! I was ranting about how I don't have a partner last night, and today I got a partner! XD

I was late as usual and I expected to dance solo again since usually there would be some kind soul guy hopping from girl to girl. And if I'm late, these kind souls would be taken!

Who knows somebody offered to be my partner. 10 minutes later I asked if he has his own partner. He said no! How delighting!

Okay! So yep, yay! XD

I sound like a mad despo woman. o_o Oh wait I am. HAHA.

Formation Team?

2008-09-24T19:33:00.003+08:00

I had loads of fun with jive just now. Now that made me start thinking if I should join the formation team. The training for junior formation team once fortnightly. With our usual lesson on Thursday, training and technique class on Wednesday, and now with formation team training on Friday, I'm not sure if I can cope?

But I'm so so so tempted to join! But, I don't know o_o There seems to be a lot of reasons why I shouldn't join. o_o

1. I'm not good. I've got no dancing background. Most of the people without dancing background had already quitted, especially when it's holiday now.
2. I actually... put rovers as my top priority. Rovers come first, dance sport second.
3. I don't have a freaking partner! -_- Even after 729462 years! Meh. Sienified.
4. I want a partner.
5. I want a committed partner.
6. I want a committed partner who's willing to join the formation team with me.
7. I JUST WANT A FREAKING PARTNER! T___T

There. The main problem is, I don't have a partner. o_o Well actually it's okay to join formation team without a partner, but having danced for 2 routines without a partner... my goodness. I understand how hard it is to learn a routine without a partner. You've got no sense of direction, no support, no people correcting you. You're ALL ALONE. And when the other couples are doing their graceful backdrop, the girls without partner just stand there and wait for the backdrop to finish then they can continue the dance. -_-

I asked a few from SPDS and the answer I got will always be "Oh I got a partner already~"

I don't wanna ask people outside SPDS coz then he won't be committed. =( Can't force people if they're not interested at all riiiiight? T_T

So the conclusion is, I want a partner. Anyone? =X

I sound so despo HAHA. Oh wait, I *am* despo now.

-_-

Scouts of The World Award - Discovery 13 - 14 Sept 2008

2008-09-17T02:41:00.004+08:00

I was staying overnight at scouts HQ for a night for this course. And on the first day, we had a visit to Raffles Museum located at NUS.

Raffles Museum of Biodiversity Research

The field trip was pretty interesting. All locally found specimens are brought here to be preserved and exhibited. The museum is said to house the largest collection of specimens in the whole of S.E.A. which is amazing since Singapore is just a tiny little red dot on the map right O_o

We were guided by Sijie, the Education and Public Relations Officer of NUS Raffles Museum. He first brought us to the museum.

The skull of an Asian elephant. Freaking huuuge.

The specimen of a spider. Cool whip o_o

Specimens of a real tapir and tiger. Oh and the leopard behind. Wires and frames are used so that the leopard would look as if it's alive.

All the specimens are real. The organs and everything inside are took out before chemicals are applied to preserve them. Only the skin and fur are kept. So the inside are usually just wool.

The scientists used to kill the animals to take their specimen. But nowadays they no longer do that. They just collect specimens that are already dead, provided that the specimens are in good condition, i.e. not decomposed.

Highlight of the day!

Can't remember what species this is... think it's King Cobra?

See where the finger is pointing? Guess what's that thing? =X
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It's the...
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snake's...
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...penis.

Right, and the reason why it's forked is for reproduction reasons! You know snakes' movements are restricted due to their physical characteristics. So instead of going through all the hassle moving here and there, the forked penis is actually very useful =X

Like if the female's on the male's left, then the male will just use the left penis. And if the female's on the right, then the male use the right penis! And the penis will come off when the snake dies!

Amusing right? XD *hears people gasping in awe*

The snake was found in a golf field in Singapore. The head is actually dented because apparently some golfer saw the snake and immediately smashed it on the head with his golf club.

Yep, and next Sijie brought us to the collection centre!

These chambers that are used to keep the specimens are pretty entertaining. With the push of a button, the chambers will just zhhhng open. And push once more, the chambers will zhhhhng close and kiap die mosquitoes. Then zhhhhng open again, ohhh~ the mosquitoes can be preserved and used as specimens now!

*lame*

Birdies.

Lizards?

Snake eggs.

Confiscated snakes-in-bottles.

_____

In the evening during our reflection session, he mentioned a few current topics that had us ponder upon.

Why don't people take part in conserving the environment? Why are there more and more wildlife going extinct? Why isn't anyone doing anything?

Ignorance.

People are just ignorant when it comes to issues relating to the environment.

And yea, we had a presentation on field trips to Pulau Semakau (21st June) and Raffles Museum (13th Sept).

My drawing! XD

Kay poh

2008-09-17T01:08:00.004+08:00

Went out this afternoon to Raffle's Place to donate blood (well, SUPPOSEDLY). In the end, the staff didn't allow me to donate blood coz I consumed cough syrup yesterday. Mehhh. -_-

This is the 2nd time in this year that I was banned from donating blood because of medication =((

So yep, in the end Mich nv er and I decided to go Bugis and shop! K the initial plan was simply to eat but em... you know... girls... um so yea. =X

I left early to meet my aunt at Orchard Hotel for her company's staff retreat. Dang the food was good! XD

When we were going home, my aunt decided not to take train and took bus instead. It was supposed to be express bus but we ended up reaching home 2 hours later. =.=

Riiight, there was a multiple-vehicle collision on our way back. The bus we were on wasn't involved in the collision but somehow, 1 of the smart driver decided to open his car door without looking to the back when our bus passed by. And zoooom, there went his door. Dented and can't be closed. =X Noone was injured though.

The bus apparently had to stop. And the driver actually happily told us that, his bus got scratched and the rubber came off. O_o He actually sounded happy!

And since I got quite a strategic spot on the bus, the self-proclaimed-talented-photographer-cum-actress (actress because I had to act as if I wasn't taking photo -_- ) decided to take photos of the collision! =D

First taxi and second car.

Second car and third van.

Poor car kena kiap in the middle.

The dented door and the van driver.

The van driver tried to close the door by slamming the door for like, 5 mins non-stop? Apparently the door just wouldn't close at all~ it was so dented can.

The door's seriously dented!

Thus ends my kay poy encounter. =X

Eh wait actually got another one last Sat, but no pic coz there were people around. =X

I finished our lesson for Scouts of The World Award Discovery with the Rover peeps and went out to have supper. And we saw 3 police cars. Then one more joined in, then another.

Minutes later, an ambulance came. Then fire engine. Okay... so we wanted to just watch from the other side from the road... but em.. being the kay poh people who want the best view ever, we just moved to somewhere nearer to the scene. =X

There were more than 10 of us. Although we were that kay poh, we are still good citizens hoh! Yep, to prevent being caught for having illegal gathering (Note :a group that consists of more than 6 members is deemed illegal), we separated ourselves to 3 groups! So that we wouldn't get caught for having so called "illegal gathering".

-_-

In the end nothing much happened despite 4 police cars, an ambulance and a fire engine came by. The police only handcuffed a man whose head was bandaged. And that's it. SHAN CHANG LOH~

This kay poh piece of article was brought to you by,

The kay poh looking self-proclaimed-talented-photographer-cum-actress Eggie =X

CCY下的陷阱

2008-09-16T02:03:00.005+08:00

01：這是誰傳的
Yen

02：怎麼認識的
幼稚园同班。小学的时候又碰回她~ *显掉*

03：認識多久
5/6岁开始… 13年多了 O_o *吓到*

04：對他(她)的印象
很疯很疯的朋友，从不会想到她情绪化的一面

05：說出他的兩個優點及兩個缺點
兩個優點 : 够疯（是优点吗？O_o），说话够爽快
兩個缺點 : 这位小姐，最近骂人骂得很绝啦！

06：對他說壹句話吧
WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO SINGAPORE? HUH? HUH? HUHHH??

07：你的大名
Sharon Lok

08：綽號
Saloon, Salad, Ah Egg, Eggie, Ninja Egg, Lok Lok -_-

09：性別
女

10：生日
02/11/1990

11：血型
O+ （明天去捐血咯！）

12：興趣
设计，电脑，meh~

13：身高
153.5cm -_-

14：體重
50-60kg =X

15：愛的書
报纸！

16：愛的數字
9280

17：想去的國家
台湾，香港！有好食物的地方都想去！+.+ （肚子饿了…）

18：現在最想學　
Latin dance - Jive (learning in process!), kayaking T_T

19：最得意的事
某个比赛胜出，成功完成Army Half Marathon 21km（超爽的！）

20：最失意的事
过了就算了，不想提起。

21：上次被教官抓是因為
头发太短 O_o

22：讓你臉紅心跳的事
*ehem* 不想透露 =X

23：現在有沒有喜歡的人
*ehem* =.=

24：跟那個人是什麼關係
保密？

25：你認為你是個專情的人
绝对是 ~.~

26：初吻幾歲
未来的事 o_O 时机未到！

27：地點是哪
地球某个地方？

28：感覺如何
不懂，无法预测未来，哈哈！

29：對於女生倒追有什麼看法
炸到… 很佩服这种女生，因为我永远做不到 T_T

30：你認為你是個超愛吃醋的人
是 *告诉自己一定要自制*

31：喜歡戀愛的
甜蜜、幸福的感觉

32：是否有一見鍾情的經驗
没有，我不信一见钟情

33：曾經為情人做過最瘋狂的事
没有情人 =.= （听起来象很可悲一下下 =X）

34：單獨和暗戀的人出去會緊張
*ehem* 不会耶，有时吧？

35：談過一次最久的戀愛
没谈过（哇，竟然在伤口上撒盐？！）

36：有沒有跟人表白過,幾次,成功幾次
从不。

37：現在最想要的東西
Nike jacket, FBT shorts, a pair of good running shoes!

38：如果看著最愛的人熟睡在自己面前，你會對他做什麼
看一眼然后继续做我东西 =X （干吗一直瞪着人家看？变态啊？ =.= ）

39：最喜歡自己的哪裡
眼睛~ *blink blink*

40：不喜歡自己的哪裡
身体？一定要减肥！哈哈哈！

41：你覺得哪個月份最適合當交往的紀念日，為何
顺其自然，又不是海龟生蛋，还需要什么特别月份？ =.=

42：聖誕節該在什麼地方過才經典
Finland! 圣诞老人的家乡！

43：討厭怎樣分手的理由
不懂耶？如果真的要分手，你还会管你喜欢还是讨厌那理由吗？心都不懂痛到哪里去了对不对 O_o

44：告白成功機率最大的是什麼辦法
因人而异？

45：喜歡一個人如何讓他注意你
我不会让他注意到我！ >_< 可悲啊~

46：過去有沒有發生什麼事讓你感動
有，很多。特别是家人、朋友为我做的一切一切。谢谢！ =)

47：你認為有意義的一句話或一件事
不同时候会有不一样的事情让我觉得有感触，不过目前好像…没有…还是时间很晚了，脑袋暂停运作？

48：討厭女生的Type
没有特别讨厌的类型，只要讨厌就讨厌，我也忘了我讨厌哪种人，只记得讨厌哪个人 =X （哇我好狠 XD ）不过真的啦！你有去记得你不喜欢哪种人的咩？

49：討厭男生的Type
如上。

50：最有效的減肥方法
哈！运动加饮食！单靠饮食是绝对绝对行不通！自律与毅力非常非常重要！

51：有幻想被異性壓在牆上過嗎
O_o 没有，你有病啊？

52：你覺得楊丞琳，蔡依林，王心凌，林志玲，誰最正
蔡依林，她越来越漂亮了 >_<

53：滿意現在的交往對象嗎
本小姐仍属单身贵族~ （好可悲 =.= ）

54：看到路上的帥哥美女會怎樣
看多几眼，等他走远就很兴奋地对朋友说：“有没有看到？美女！” （我好像对男生没什么反应？o_o 要去检查性向了，哈哈！)

55：你覺得哪個男明星最Man
权相宇！我的妈呀~ *瞬间融化*

56：喜歡吃哪種蛋糕
Cheese cake，不过还是少吃得好，不是很喜欢甜品啦！

57：睡覺是不是側睡
Yep yep,除非是睡不着。睡不着时是肚子向下睡的。

58：喜歡的卡通人物

需要我多说吗？

59：喜歡的茶類
奶茶！超爱的~ Teh peng 不要酱甜~

60：你想跟一個你喜歡，但他對你沒有Feel的人在一起?
好委屈… 死都不会。

61：你覺得鑽石戴在哪最性感 1; 脖子2; 手3; 腳*
脖子，闪亮亮~ +.+

62：你希望另一半的身高
高我半粒头咯，其实我无所谓，我那么矮，要求能高到哪里去？

63：家人和情人掉入海中，你會
喊救命！叫别人救啦！我不会游泳 =.= 不过最重要是家人！ >_<

64：你覺得最適合約會的地方
哪里都好吧？约会就约会咯！大多数人都是去shopping mall的，不是吗？

65：你常穿哪種鞋
拖鞋，娃娃鞋 <3

66：你比較喜歡柯賜海還是許純美
好像不是我时代的…… o_o 只听过许纯美，她认识我，我不认识她！

67：如果讓你選, 你要當蠟筆小新的媽媽還是花媽?
没看。 o_o

68：你觉得现在的你 ~ 幸福吗?为何?
很幸福 =) 我比世上很多人幸福。

69：如果你生日 ~ 你最想收到什么礼物呢?
没想过耶~ 看送礼物的人平时有没有注意我喜欢什么咯！送太贵的我会愧疚！ =X

70：下辈子想当什么? ( 动物也可以) 理由?
不想重生… 当人的话… 好像同样的东西一直重复耶？当动物也很可怜，生命就那么的脆弱…

71：问个简单问题好了,你的偶像是??
没有特别喜好。

72：如果你的情人对你漫不理睬的时候，你会怎样?
让他有自己的空间吧。随便。

73：喜欢东方神起吗?最喜欢哪个?
他们认识我，我不认识他们！ XD

74：当你喜欢一个人，比那个人喜欢你更多的时候，应该怎么做?
不懂，听起来很… 辛苦……

75：你最憧憬的婚礼是?
妈呀，还有多久耶？连交往对象都没有，你说我会那么得空去想这吗？ =.= （这东西有完没完啊？我很不耐烦了耶！）

76：As if there is a chance to meet your loves one individually, what will u do?
Take my time and talk to him. But then.. O_o Meh. I don't like this question. Whatever. -_-

77：If your lover or the one you admire told you that he fall in love with your friend or he still love his ex, what will you do?
I don't know. I really don't know. Think I might just collapse? Nah, I'm always ready for this o_o (Don't ask me why but I always get myself prepared for this kind of situation)

78：What will you do if you fall in love with someone that you shouldn't love?
O_o Drama ke? -_- Nah, I'll give up.

79 : What is your future plan?
Graduate with diploma, get into NTU and get a degree! Yep yep that's what I'm going to do! XD

80 : Since I'm not tagging anyone... so no point asking a new question right? o_o

｛一｝傳給1O個人以上(不可回傳)｡
｛二｝照內心想法打｡
｛三｝被點到不可不寫｡　
｛四｝在最後的時候自己加上一題...不需回答..由被点名的人回答.

不tag人了~ 本小姐是很善良滴~ ^ ^ V

... -_-

动物园里的三只动物

2008-09-13T01:31:00.002+08:00

“猴子，猪想问你，最近好吗？猪在工作赚钱，熊在努力求学..猴子在卖力背书对吧？猪只是想对猴子说：朋友，我好想念你哦～”

“猪，猴子一切都很好..只是退学接近一个月了..现在打拼着做工..不懂我们几时可以再聚一聚..真的很想念你们哦..”

“答应你，一定有仨人聚会！”

“嗯！等那只熊能从动物园跑出来先！谢谢你！今天我肯定很开心～～”

很久没看着手机大声笑了，很开心看到朋友的回复简讯..很温馨，觉得好像回到以前在一起的生活..朋友，还是最好的。

从猪的部落格里读到的，有股想哭的冲动。

到现在我还是那么喜欢“老婆”和“仨人”这两首歌，因为它们让我想起你们。 =)

猪，猴子！好多好多话想跟你们说！我好久没有人跟我一起冷了！也没有人跟我说一些只有我会笑的冷笑话！

这只熊一定会从动物园逃出来的，哈哈！

Jive!

2008-09-12T19:20:00.004+08:00

Gotta love jive!

K lah the one I'm learning now isn't as advanced as the one in the video but still! I'm getting the basics already! Being bouncy is the key! Like how a hard boiled egg should be! =X Weird analogy I know AHAH!

Had so much fun with jive yesterday! Though somebody stepped on my foot in heels O_o

I tried to socialize a bit, finally had a partner for like, 20 minutes? (Meh I sound like an emo kid but I'm not!) Okay at least I was having fun right? >_< *self assuring* Let's just hope I'm getting a dance partner soon enough. I've been partnerless for one semester now and if I don't get one the next CCA drive, ~~I'm gonna kill myself~~ I'll go ask.. anyone =.= Mehh. I mean mooo. Eheeeee.

I found out something. Although I'm anti-social for the first time I meet people, most of the time I'll end up having people thinking that I'm scary. Scary in the sense that, how I look is different from how I behave. =X

Mich and Justin said I look... harmless and innocent (OMG YAYYY!) But mehh, I'm not harmless. =X So yea, looks can be deceiving and it applies to ME! XD

I'm recovering from the emoness yesterday I guess! Oh wait, I wasn't emoing yesterday right? Was I? =X Talking to people really helps! Weeeeeeeee!

2008-09-11T14:50:00.004+08:00

I think I'm becoming more and more anti-social. Somehow. I'm getting more and more people telling me how quiet I am and that I should open up to people. Or rather, strangers.

Everytime, without miss, I'll be sitting at one corner, looking at other people talking and laughing away. I'll be alone, keeping quiet. And noone notice. Em. I think people DO notice that I'm quiet. And just yesterday, I was given the name 小静 (Quiet Little?) because the one who gave me the name thinks I'm quiet. o_o Right. And on the way back, think he tried to strike a conversation with me but heck, I was looking down all the time. -_-

Now that I think back, yea. I was very quiet then. Attended 4 lessons and managed to talk to less than 3 people. That's how pathetic I am.

I used to be noisy. Yea, but only to people I'm close to. Where are those people now? Why do I have the feeling that, that I made the wrong choice? I used to think that dream > everything. And now? What happened? I don't know.

I'm not sure if it's the conversation that we had. Think what he said had affected me in one way or another. =/ Yea, now I realise I'm really not a sociable person. I don't party. I don't have any fun that normal young people should have. I don't like noisy place. His so-called principles are different from mine. We are different. Really. I can never be the kind of friend that you want. I didn't mention this conversation right after because I want things to remain the way they were.

I need someone to talk to.

Haven't been talking to anyone face-to-face for days.

P/S : I'm not emoing k. It's just something that I've been thinking for days. It's still unsolved but yea, no worries. Everything will be okay, as I always say! ~.~

2008-09-01T01:29:00.002+08:00

Finally it's the end of my days of working for Microsoft!

Updating soon! =D

2008-08-21T12:57:00.002+08:00

I'm hungry. I'm constantly hungry. And yes, I ate. Instant noodles. 2nd attempt to slowly kill myself with MSG today after the Tom Yam noodles that I got from a kiosk for ~~supper~~ ~~dinner~~ supper.

And LOOK AT MY FACE! MAJOR PIMPLE OUTBREAK!

I didn't sleep for 1 whole night. I was in school trying to stuff my brain with lots and lotsa communication principles theories. K.O.ed at 7 this morning and dragged myself back home to sleep. Dragged myself out of the bed at 11a.m..

I. Am. Very. Very. Very. Very. Very. Very. Grouchy. Right. Now.

I hate exams. 7 hours to the moment I await.

2008-08-20T14:34:00.002+08:00

Going out at 3.30pm later for Ser Ser's birthday. Going back to school at 9pm to meet Charmaine for revision. We're revising till morning tomorrow then go home and sleep. Having ICP paper at 6pm tomorrow!

21st:
ICP Paper
Class dinner/stayover
22nd:
Class outing (?)
23rd:
Fireworks festival
24th:
Army Half Marathon - 21km
30th:
South West Campfire

2nd-4th September:
SAA First aid course
6th-7th:
Night cycling
13th-14th:
Kayaking Star 1
29th:
Rovers BBQ

I feel like going home so much. I miss Penang all of a sudden. Probably I know I won't be going back that often now since my parents have shifted to my bro's new house in Johor. And with this kind of schedule, I doubt I can go back. o_o Nvm, probably not going for the bbq.

Anyway! I'm thinking of going to Genting! Any takers? XD

How Not To Handle Multiple Choice Questions

2008-08-20T02:23:00.001+08:00

... as suggested by our lecturer for Thursday's paper.

2008-08-19T00:19:00.003+08:00

I think I'm going mad. o_o Or I'm just constantly blur.

I looked at my phone and noticed the battery was running low. Critically low.

The next thing I did was to look at my laptop to check if it was plugged in. Then suddenly I realised, it's my phone battery that's dying, and not laptop. -_-

And weeks ago. my phone rang for quite some time when I was on the train. I thought to myself "Hmm.. who's the one using the same ringtone as I do? Wahlao why never pick up?"

I reached school, checked my phone and found out I got 3 missed calls during the period I was on the train. -_-

DMC 02

2008-08-08T23:24:00.004+08:00

That's my DMC 02 lovelies over there! =D

Anyway, which dimension for the photos is better? 640x480 (bigger one) or 434x336 (smaller one)?

SP Poly 50 '08

2008-08-07T12:07:00.008+08:00

Poly 50 is over! Weeeeee! After weeks of training finally it's OVER!

Grats to my Charmaine honey who got 6th! Ahahaha. Rovers didn't get into the top 10, but still we completed the race within 2 hours, so yay!

I was saying how it would be if I were to stand next to those participants who were in the top 10. That would be like, Vitagen placed next to Coca Cola. O_o

Anyway, photos! Weeeeeeeeeee!

Our ironman jersey -_- Hmm.. think again, it doesn't look that bad afterall. O_o

Our cosy den~ Everybody was getting ready and that's Cheng Cheong our physical training in-charge (PTI) briefing us in front.

The so called "Xi Gan喜感" look, labelled by Winston =.=

On our way to Poly 50 route.

Leg stretching.

We were all set to go! Whooooooosh!

The starting line!

I was quite skeptical if I could do it or not. Super nervous can. Coz I was supposed to take over the baton at the 10th lap. Then I didn't wear my specs so I couldn't see very clearly lah. And for my 2nd baton, I really really couldn't see anyone then I just missed out 1 checkpoint. o_o

And I just ran to the next checkpoint. Almost died halfway can.

For the last lap, couldn't care much and just chiong all the way! No idea where the strength came from, just suddenly feel energised to sprint woosh! o_o

After the relay race!

Group photo! We finally completed the race!

The race was over! And...

PTI got thrown into the pool hah!

It was really a new experience for me. Oh gawd, Rovers made me try all the things that I've never done before. I had never joined any relay race before and I thought I will not join anything so sporty. =.= Next up, I'm running 21km for SAFRA Army Half Marathon, yay?

I can't believe that I actually did it! Hah! So happy! =X

SP Rover Scouts! Weeeeeeeeeeee!

Photos courtesy of Raven

Right after Poly 50, I went for dance sport technique class. It was my first lesson and I almost died trying to do split. I was screaming like hell coz I couldn't split and the guy whom I partnered sabo-ed me. He kept pulling that I was like "AHHH STOP STOP STOP PULLING OUCH!" And that guy is. so. freaking. strong. -_-

I thought I walked in a rather strange way after all the stretching and splitting. =.= Or is it just me?

2008-08-01T11:00:00.002+08:00

Isn't it good to stay the way we are right now?

We all pretend that nothing is wrong and that nobody cares anyway...

...but we all know that something is wrong. We still care, don't we?
I do, do you?

2008-08-01T00:21:00.000+08:00

Using Vista is a love-hate thing. Love it for the interface which is better than XP, hate it for the bugs which is worse than XP. The more I love it, the more I hate it.

HAHAHAHA. Thought of this when I was showering. =X

My Photoshop is still dead, going to download CS2 later. Hopefully it'll work. And if CS2 doesn't work, I'll jump out of the window and at most... break my leg. HAHAHA! (5th floor only, what do you expect?)

2008-07-28T23:58:00.003+08:00

100th post! o_O

Thanks Kitty for going through the hassle to save my Photoshop.

There's a long story to it. I got the CD from school, so for sure it's the genuine one. Firstly I installed Adobe Creative Suite 3 on my Vista and I never tried it out coz I stopped using Vista for a while. I also installed it on XP and it worked for the first few times. That was it. =.=

There was once I stayed in school until 10pm+ just to finish up Design Basics assignment coz I was using Big Pig(let's call him BP shall we)'s lappy. So both PS on the 2 OS didn't work until one fine day, my XP crashed. -_-

During that period my XP crashed, PS worked fine! I didn't fix my XP until like 3 or 4 weeks later. And now, my XP is recovered and reformatted, the PS on Vista died on me. Like, yay?

Soo yep, now I try to install PS again on XP. Hopefully it's working!

2008-07-28T23:12:00.002+08:00

Eggie: *irriates Charmaine* I'm irritating you now. So you feel irritated now. I know you're irritated because I'm irritating you. I'm such an irritating right?! Do you feel irritated now? I know you wanna be irritated because I'm irritating!
Charmaine: You suck!
Eggie: Yea, I suck coz I'm a straw! But I cannot be a normal straw. I'm the bubble tea fat straw, because I'm not skinny enough to be the normal straw, whereas bubble tea straw is fat enough! =D
Charmaine: =.=

I'm so irritating today! HAHAHAHA

2008-07-28T00:39:00.002+08:00

I spent hours trying to figure out what went wrong with Photoshop. And apparently I couldn't find any solution to it. -_-

Photoshop has been very kind to me and it decided to die on me when I need to use it for Design Basics assignment! Weeehee!

I read this one whole list of instructions and what could probably be the problem. I tried like 10+ methods and I still see this freaking messageeee! *emoes*

"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."
"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."
"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."
"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."
"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."
"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."
"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."
"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."
"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."
"Adobe Photoshop has stopped working."

T___________T

But I'm not in the mood for emo-ing HAHAHA
If not in the mood = emo, then "I'm not in the mood for emo-ing" = "I'm emo for emo-ing"? o_O

K I think I should stop being lame =X

2008-07-25T00:52:00.004+08:00

Do you know how hard it is to be sandwiched in between? I feel as if I'm double faced, you know that? I wish that you can understand why I pulled off. Why can't you try to understand? I got other commitments and that is MY choice. I got the rights to decide what I really want. Why would I give up something that I've been longing to do for years? I wouldn't say that if you're a friend, then you should let me do what I want. Nonsense. It's my decision, heck care about others.

I really hope that you would just stop making sarcastic remarks. I hate it. I just hate anything that sounded sarcastic. I'm sorry if what you said wasn't meant to be sarcastic at all, but it really did sound sarcastic to me. At least, to me, yes. Don't force me into doing what I don't want to do. If I don't want to do it, I mean it. I. Don't. Want. To. Do. It.

I don't talk to you? Well, I did, but I was told off. So what's the point right? No point no point. I told you that I've been through all these shit before and I don't wanna go through these again. How many times do I have to repeat?? I wanna pull off early so that I don't get hurt. Do you understand? I don't want to go through all these shit ever again. I'm tired of all these.

I guess I just don't feel easy talking to you after what had happened. And thanks a lot for the sarcastic remarks. They didn't help either. =)

I guess my definition of "a friend" is different from yours. Yes, a friend would go to any extent just to help. I was that friend to you before. Yea, but I'm tired of being that kind of friend. Especially when... I felt that what I did was just... a waste. Not appreciated at all.

The mosaic fragments? I don't understand. I just don't. You have your mosaic fragments, I probably have mine too. I am not perfect, nobody is.

If being a friend is that tiring, then I guess, I might as well don't be one.

I ain't strong. I wish I didn't bother.

2008-07-22T19:45:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

THAT GROUCHY AUNTIE IS GONE! WOOHOO!

She got this scary aura that surrounds her =X It's so scary having her beside me seriously. =X

And to think that I published my previous post 20 minutes ago, dang, this blog is so powerful! XD