Sunday, July 24, 2011
Phnom Penh, Cambodia

The decision to go to Vietnam was when I read about Cu Chi tunnels in Vietnam (more about that later) sometime ago. I thought crawling through narrow, suffocating tunnels sounded fun and it came close to War Museum in Penang which I loved! The initial plan was only to visit Vietnam, but later I learnt about the Khmer Rouge regime and decided I wanted to learn about the genocide (whether or not it was a genocide is debatable) that killed more than two million Cambodians in the 1970s. Due to time constraints, we changed our itinerary a bit but we covered Phnom Penh (Cambodia) - Siem Reap - Chau Doc (Mekong Delta, Vietnam) - Can Tho - Ho Chi Minh City (Vietnam).


We departed from Kuala Lumpur on 10th July and landed in Phnom Penh. Out of the few cities that we travelled to, Phnom Penh was the city that we liked least, no thanks to the deceiving tuk-tuk drivers we met. A few of them were okay, but most of them were not. Well, we only took 4-5 rides on tuk-tuks?


Nevertheless, this capital encapsulates what happened between 1975 and 1979 when screaming soldiers took over the city, mass deported peasants to the countryside and started the four-year Khmer Rouge regime. Over two million people were killed. The Khmer Rouge government arrested, tortured and eventually executed anyone suspected of belonging to its "enemies". Most of these "enemies", till their last breath, didn't even realise what they did wrong.




I was curious enough to buy a biography of Pol Pot, the mastermind behind Khmer Rouge (at just USD5, books in Cambodia and Vietnam are mad cheap! Even *fake* Lonely Planets!). Pol Pot, named Saloth Sar before he adopted his pseudonym, was a teacher and was said to be good-natured. I'm still halfway through the book, but the fact that people who knew him described him as a loving and gentle man, was unnerving. *shrugs* Nobody knows what he was thinking.

History lessons aside, we tried our hands mouths on fried critters - spiders, grasshoppers, beetles, frogs and the likes. Oh, and not forgetting duck foetus too!


Grasshoppers were okay - provided that they are not huge! I swallowed the mini grasshopper without a second thought but the big one was… =S



Nick and I stared at the 5cm long grasshopper, back at each other simultaneously, then back onto the dead creature. In the end I decided to pluck the wing off, just to taste. Neither of us dared to bite into the abdomen. And following closely behind are the black-coated beetles. Again, I made the first move and this time - for the head! The head of the beetle was hard, much like chewing onto a piece of thin plastic. Not pleasant at all! But the worst of all was the tiny maggot which I immediately spitted out upon taking the first bite! Mr. Ng did not have the courage to feast on the big grasshopper and beetles, but he was heroic enough to actually swallow a whole maggot! Disgusting much!

The duck fetus, surprisingly, was more acceptable. It wasn't the disturbing kind you see on Nat Geo documentaries where you can visibly see the features of the fetus. The one we got, was only an embryo.


That meant, we couldn't exactly see the feathers. Plus, it was steamed before served. There was a little bit of meat in it, but most of it was yolk. We ate it with salt-pepper mix and lime which we find it a distinctive Cambodian taste.

Frankly speaking, it tasted like egg which is what it was! It was only the mental barrier that was stopping me from gobbling the egg. Nick liked it though, but he would never want to try it again. We both agreed that once is enough. D=

We were pleasantly surprised at the strong sense of community here. There was a park near the guesthouse we stayed in and every evening, regardless of the day of the week, there were always families, teens, children hanging out at the park. Or... people dancing to Para Para Sakura. Hehe.


Also in Phnom Penh, I lost USD50! =( That's close to RM150 AAAAHHHHHHHH! I don't know how, but apparently the fifty-dollar note disappeared from my wallet and was never seen again. Sigh. Sometimes I don't know why my head is so big when there's nothing inside. =.=

And so, we shall end this post with a minute of silence for my lost note.

Labels: Cambodia, travel

Monday, May 16, 2011
30DLBL Day 7-12

Hello!

I'm not very sure which day is today, but due to other commitments, there are some days where I have to skip the task for the day.

30DLBL Day 7 - Creating An Action Plan

Day 7's task was to create an action plan for one of my most prioritised life goals. In Day 7, I started a project called Project 3P (Pretty Professional Portfolio). By the end of the project, as the name goes, I would have a Pretty Professional Portfolio! I'm giving myself six months to complete this, so the deadline would be November 2011.

This was a fairly easy task as I've already had the habit instilled (except for the fact that I don't complete my goals most of the time). Oh, speaking of which, I just reviewed the list of goals I have on the blog's side bar, and I've completed three of the goals - completing a full marathon by the age of 21, graduating with a CGPA of  >3.5 and to be admitted to NTU in August this year! =D *gives myself a pat on the back* That meant my goals worked! Other than that, I've miserably failed two of the goals, heh.

• GPA >3.5 Graduated with a CGPA of 3.686.
• 50kg by the end of 2009 Failed, as of today (May 2011), I've lost weight, but not significantly. Most of all, I still weigh above 50kg. =.=
• 45kg by the end of 2010 Failed big time!
• Get into NTU in 2011 Achieved!
• Complete a full marathon by 21 Yes! One of my proudest moments too. :)
• Visit Taiwan by 23 Dropping this as I have changed my perspective on travelling
• NYAA Gold by 25! Still working on it, need to be more persistent
• Visit Japan by 25 Dropping this too

Compared to the life goals I've set few days ago, my goals have changed so much. Travelling to Japan and Taiwan is no longer top on the list, in fact, now I look forward to volunteering overseas. I guess luxurious trips like these can wait. Working holidays and volunteering abroad are my current priorities when it comes to travelling! I've also reflected on the way I set goals for myself on random occasions (when I have the sudden urge), I realised it's not exactly effective. What normally happens is that I'd enthusiastically set the goals, write them somewhere (in this case, my neglected blog) and forget about them the next day. So, today, I jotted down my (monthly) goals on my organizer, and the same thing will happen for subsequent months. One thing for sure, I won't abandon my organizer for years to come because (1) I have spent money on that tiny (A6, which is only a quarter of a piece of A4 paper) but expensive (for its size) leather-covered organizer (2) I don't like the organizer on my iPhone, it seems unreliable (for me) (3) the papers in the organizer is refillable (and again, very expensive)!

I'm planning to create a few more action plans for my other goals, one of them being completing NYAA Gold. I've been stuck for quite a while and now that I have the Residential Project section settled, it's gonna lighten the load so much!

30DLBL Day 8 - Assessing My To-Do List

Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? By the 80/20 rule, 20% of our inputs lead to 80% of our outputs. This means, only 20% of our daily tasks contributes to most of our achievements, self satisfaction, etc. This is a "More with Less" approach. Low input, high output. Day 8's task focuses on applying the 80/20 rule to our daily lives.

This was done yesterday when I was still having post-camp lethargy. Initially I only listed the tasks I've set for myself for the day - to plan for Cambodia/Vietnam trip, to complete the day's task for 30DLBL and to review my action plans, to take a nap (=.=), to register for AHM, chatting and the like. (Notice that Facebook was not mentioned. That's because I've been restricting my access to Facebook for the past week. It feels great.) These minute tasks were then categorised into 20% (high value, impactful) tasks and 80% (low value, time waster, even) tasks.

Throughout the day, I became increasingly conscious of what I was doing. I added activities into the sheet of paper I had in the morning to have an overview of what I was doing most of the time. I was spending most of my time on 80%. I spent 1.5 hour taking a nap, when I was supposed to take a half-hour power nap. To make myself feel better, I forced myself to do some work, which was a wasted effort. Instead of using the Internet wisely, I spent time reading blogs, reading comments, checking my mailbox excessively, etc. So, today, I listed everything that I have the tendency of doing, including time wasters. While I got enough rest and countered my lethargy, I didn't start the day on a high note today. I skipped my morning exercise because I was a little tired when I woke up. I'm off track for today's to-do list too.

I'm not going to feel guilty, so instead, I chose to do what I feel most inspired and now I'm back on track. Yay. Being aware of time wasters helped too.

30DLBL Day 12 - Declutter Your Space

Day 9-11 were meant to be breaks, so I took the liberty to start Day 12's task. The task for Day 12, which is today, requires us to declutter our space! Other than clearing out your workspace, the task also involves clearing out non-physical space such as mailbox, files/folders organisation, etc.

Well, my physical space is quite... easy. My room only consists of two plastic shelves (bought when the family was moving from Penang to Johor), one bookshelf, one small table and my foldable desk (which is kept when I leave for Singapore). Of all these containers, only 20% belongs to me - two drawers to keep my clothes, the small table to put my commonly reached possessions such as wallet, watch, phone, etc. and the foldable desk I've been using a lot lately. So where did all my stuff go? They're either in Singapore, or packed in paper boxes! HAHA.

I'm soooo glad I didn't have to move when I was young, because even after three years of moving to Johor, my parents *still* have things they bring from Penang everytime we're back. I'm thinking of decluttering my phsycal space in mid-July when I move in to hostel. Pray hard I'll be staying in the same room through my uni years (3.5-4 years). I'm not exactly messy, my things are quite organized, but I take FOREVER to organize them if I have to. Say for example, when I moved in to Bukit Panjang last year, I took two days to unpack and I still wasn't quite done. Sam, despite possessing more, took (a lot) less time to do it. =.= I should've been born a snail, not a human. D=

As for my virtual space! It's rather clean! I have the habit of dumping whatever I don't need on my desktop once in a while, or deleting friends off Facebook! Hee.

For The Past Few Days

During the camp, we had a heart-to-heart talk session around the Ring of Fellowship. Aaron asked what are our greatest fears in life. My greatest fear, at the moment, is to not have a purpose in life. And unbelievably, while sharing, I revealed my dream to become a TV presenter to a group of people I just met. It felt awkward because I have never, ever told anyone other than Kooi Khin, Mei Kuan and Nick. Not many shared their stories. It could be because they are still young (almost 3-4 years younger than those who shared), or that they're uncomfortable doing it. From there, I suspect humans' greatest fear might be to reveal their greatest fears, to expose their vulnerability to the world.

I've been thinking about relationships a lot lately - personalities, attitudes, perceptions, and the like that make human, human.

Do you ever think about this? Do you ask questions when you're puzzled? Who do you talk to then?

Labels: 30DLBL, thoughts

30DLBL Day 6 - My Life Goals

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland

1. Studies
I graduated with a CGPA of 3.686. It’s lower than what I could’ve done. I know I can do better if only I wasn’t as complacent in my final year. That aside, I haven’t been learning anything new. I’m only regurgitating whatever that was taught. I feel like I haven’t used my brain for a very long time! I will not remain like this forever. This is not what I want, definitely not what I do.
2. Finance/wealth
Coincidentally, I did a budget for my personal finances. I have to say my treasury skills have become… godlike! HAHA! Nowadays, I take less than 15 minutes to draft a flexible yet practical budget. *proud* Back to the topic, I had been working for the last three months and now I have stopped. I feel like I’m doing a direct trade of time with money. That’s not what I want to do so I will stop for the moment. The money I’ve earned is enough to support a few of my trips, i.e. Project Orion, Cambodia-Vietnam, KL trip and etc. Spending money to backpack is an investment. I also have enough to give part of my salary to my parents. It’s a little tight if I was to buy myself a MacBook Pro. If I overspend (fingers crossed that I won’t), I would take up a few more projects and earn approximately $400-500 more.
3. Health/fitness
I have been exercising almost everyday or at least three times a week since the start of this challenge! =D I eat less, avoid oily food and I drink more than 2 litres of water a day (I’m a water tank!). I don’t think I even deserve a rating of 4 for this now, I should get a 7! *estatic* Oh, and surprise, surprise, surprise, I lost 2kg! =.=
4. Social/friends
I’m glad to say I’m surrounded by good friends and I can find a confidant when needed (Mr. Ng should receive honourable mention). I still keep in contact with my friends from Penang and am on good terms with friends in Singapore. That’s something to be happy about. =) On a happy note, I’m meeting Kooi Khin and Samantha in KL next week! Yay.
5. Family
My attempt to stay in Johor for at least 4 days a week has been successful, but I can’t guarantee things are going to be the same when I enrol into university. There are things I disagree with and I haven’t found an ideal way to truly express the disagreement. Nevertheless, I need to understand that this is temporary. Family ties are forever unbreakable. I just have to be more patient, sensible and understanding.
6. Romance/love
Althought it’s my first, but it has been a healthy, fulfilling relationship. He’s my best friend, a loyal confidant and has always been there. That’s why I said Mr. Ng should receive an honourable mention. Heh.
7. Recreation
I’m happily executing my plan to travel all around the world, one step at a time. Come July, Singapore will no longer be the furthest country I’ve ever travelled to. HEHEHE.
8. Contribution
The first meeting for Project Orion got me really excited! The line-up of programs, the people I’ll be meeting and once in a lifetime experience! Listening to the itinerary had my eyes wide opened! Three things we’ll be involved with for sure – friendly locals, naughty but innocent kids and rarely seen turtles. Despite not knowing anyone in the team, I’m glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone and decided to take on the challenge. It doesn’t seem that scary meeting new people. I haven’t done this for a long long time. Most of the “new” people I meet are friends’ friends. I’m sure my teammates (whom I’ll spending two weeks with) are gonna be a fun bunch! I’m not sure how much of an impact we will be, but – a little goes a long way.
9. Personal growth
Need. To. Do. More! I need to reignite my passion for designing or whatever new passion I can dig into. I’m just confused over what I’m passionate about. I’m slowly losing it. Ah…
10. Spiritual
At least I found my (temporary) life purpose! Every morning, I would wake up, flip open my organizer and read the mission statement I set for myself. It’s nice to have a goal to work towards.
11. Self-image
If you compare the present me to the young 16-year-old I once was, I am a lot more confident, feel better about myself and more enthusiastic. If life is a piece of graph paper and each aspect is drafted to a graph, the graph for my self image would go up. The only variable is the steepness of the curve, the steeper the better. A steep graph is what I want to see! I want to experience more. I see myself morphing into a confident young (is it?) lady 5 years down the road, not easily deceived and ready to take over the world!

Of course I do not want to remain the way I am now. Nobody likes to remain stagnant. I’d rather be dead. Studies, personal growth, family, health, self-image, spiritual (not in order) are the main categories I would improve. Easier said than done, of course. I have remained stagnant for quite a while and that, again, explains the reason I’m doing this challenge. It’s a good overview of my life in all aspects.

The Challenge So Far

I woke up at 6.45am today! =) 15 more days to go till I’d successfully integrate the habit into my life!

The weather was a little cloudy, just nice for a morning jog. The sun came out when I was about to leave. Woot woot.

And the task today! It said it would take 2 hours to do it and guess what?! I took more than 5 hours (with distractions here and there of course), but it felt nice. =) Now I have an Excel sheet for my goals in one, three and five years. To reflect on what I did today, I have always been doing the same thing every year, setting goals/resolution for myself. Somehow, the goals I set are always all over the place. I think this exercise allowed a bird’s eye view on my goals.

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I started the challenge by writing on a notebook, but it became too tedious so I decided to type instead. I thought my blog would be a good platform as it would make my plan known (to those who wants to know). It is a little embarassing but if I’m set to change myself, I shouldn’t be embarassed. In the event that I fail, please don’t use it against me. =.= Being the fickle minded person that I am, it is highly possible that I’d forget about this challenge in a month or two. I suppose it happens to almost everyone – setting sky-high goals and completely putting them behind your mind the next day. On the other side of the coin, if I don’t try, I wouldn’t even know if I’d fail or succeed. If I’d succeed in religiously following the goals I’ve set for myself, that’s good! If I don’t… well, at least I took the time to think about my life purpose, vision, values, etc. – one (small) step forward in my self discovery journey. =)

There’s a reason why I was skeptical about publishing all these on my blog. I don’t expect much audience to my blog nowadays, which is great. Posting my daily 30DLBL tasks on this blog also means I have to open up to share, and when you share, you are exposing yourself, you have to overcome fear. And by overcoming fears, you become stronger, more resillient. I write whatever I think’s appropriate and adequate. Nothing wrong with that.

I know that I’m doing the right thing. I should the one to decide whether or not this is what I want to do. Criticising is fine, but there’s a limit, especially when I regard you as one of my good friends. I will tune out of whatever sarcasm, criticism you may have. I don’t even bother expressing my discomfort because I doubt you will listen. And I don’t want to be seen as being petty, oversensitive. I don’t know what will doing this leads to, but at least I believe it will lead to something good. It will be life changing, no matter small it is. I might fail in the end, but at least I’ve tried and that I’d have no regrets. I got my answer. =)

Are you asking for their permission to succeed in your goals? If not, no feeling. - Sean Ho, an inspiring friend

Labels: 30DLBL

Wednesday, May 11, 2011
30DLBL Day 5 - Discovering Values

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. - from my personal collection of quotes, source unidentified

From Day 5's task, I've identified five values that are deemed most important. These were selected after eliminating over 20 other values which were somewhat relevant.

1. Excellence
   To give my 110% in everything that I pursue. To not give up. To be persevere, persistent and committed. To be the very best that I can be and to achieve my highest potential.
2. Passion
   To do the things I love and to love the things I do. Nothing can be done with passion and commitment. To not work for money, but for passion instead. I’ve always believed in loving the things you do, not just doing the things you love. Things don’t always work this way.
3. Perseverance
   To believe in myself. To not give up no matter what. To start a goal and stick to it till the very end.
4. Joy
   To always be happy and positive. To be enthusiastic. To bring joy and happiness to others, whether it’s family, friends, acquaintances or strangers.
5. Making a difference
   To make a difference in people’s life, in the world or simply things I feel strongly about. To be perceptive and to put myself in others’ shoes so that I would be able to feel. To empathise. To contribute to the world as much as I can with the knowledge that I possess. To be grateful for what I have. We, as individuals, can all make a difference in others’ lives, whether it is big or small.

Reference: Steve Pavlina

Fifth Day

I had a head start today jogging in the park nearby. I've been moving a lot slower in completing my action plan these few days. This has happened after I came back from HCIS' camp in Pulau Ubin last week. I can still feel the lethargy up till today.

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I'm confused. I don't know what to do. I'm feeling upset over some issues but there's nothing I can do. I can't stand up for what I believe is right because standing up itself is already wrong. Should I err for something right? How would I know what's right and what's wrong? I'm bottling it all up. Can't talk to anyone, can't solve the issue, can't do shit. One moment I'm crying my eyes out, the next I'm pretending to laugh. What is this.

... I'm not going to let myself sulk in my self-pity and misery. I will do the right thing and the wrong thing. I don't know what's right, what's wrong so I shall follow my gut feelings.

I don't even make sense anymore. I'm contradicting myself. One thing for sure, I'm not gonna let myself fall into this bottomless pit. I'll climb back up.

Labels: 30DLBL, thoughts

Tuesday, May 10, 2011
30DLBL Day 4 - The Mission Statement

“Decide upon your major definite purpose in life and then organize all your activities around it.” - Brian Tracy

My Life Purpose

Today's task, a very difficult task, is to find our life purpose and to create a mission statement in which will guide you through decision-making, day-to-day tasks, problem solving and so on. This is done through connecting with your inner self and shedding off your external self (e.g. your roles as a daughter, a girlfriend, a friend, etc.).

As mentioned, I did this the other day. I started with imposed purposes (e.g. getting good grades) and ended with lots of them being helping others grow, impacting others and achieving my highest potential. After typing 73 sentences and another 55 today in a Word Document, I have not found a mission statement that resonates with me from within. But that's okay. According to the exercise, one's true life purpose is supposed to make him/her cry because it is the time you reconnect with your inner self, and because you would've touched your core. Nothing happened to me. Right now, I have a draft and so, I shall follow it through temporarily. Life's about embracing changes, isn't it? ;D This soul searching will be a life long journey

With the list of 128 bullet points I have typed, I have drafted the following mission statements which I shall religiously follow from now on (till I find my true life purpose) =D

To do the best in everything that I pursue;
To live a life out of passion and love;
To help others grow and to discover their highest potential;
To help the underprivileged and to contribute as much as I can to the world.

The Challenge So Far

This is getting harder. It's provoking the doubts and fears I have within me. So much uncertainties. Despite spending an hour or two thinking for a life purpose, I haven't found one. That aside, today hasn't been fantastic that it's distracting me from completing the task.

Oh, yesterday I made a deal with Piggieman. There's so much negativity within the both of us and I felt that we're dragging each other down. We promised to only talk about positive things whenever we're on the phone (I will not see him for a month). Negative aura, shoo! It's a good change! Positive energy should be measured in Richter scale! Each time the Richter scale goes up a notch, the severity of an earthquake goes up in ten folds. Now apply the same theory. Imagine this, the scale represents the number of friends/family/etc. you have, and the scale is used to measure the positive energy among you. The more the people, the greater the energy level. =D Ain't I amazing to have thought of this? *syok sendiri*

And if you haven't realised, I made a bid not to write really, really negative stuff on the blog. I don't want negativity to leave its trail in my life. They come, and they go. That's it.

Feeling better already! Life gets better each day! =D

Labels: 30DLBL

Monday, May 09, 2011
30DLBL Day 3 – AS ROBIN VOID

Or... "vision board". ;)

My life =)

Labels: 30DLBL

Wednesday, May 04, 2011
30DLBL Day 2 – What’s Your Ideal Life?

Today marks the second day of 30DLBL Challenge and also the third day waking up at 7am successfully. I have made a bid to forge the habit of waking up at 7am everyday. So far I can see the benefits of waking up early already, especially in time management. =)

Today’s task is about the ideal life, the life I couldn’t have imagined having.

Day 2 is about possibilities, dreams, your wishes, your ideals, your deepest hopes and desires, your truest passions in life.

In her introduction, Celes talked about how we, as children when we were young, would let our imaginations run wild. We wouldn’t just dream, we dream big. I suppose along the way, we had to conform to societal pressure. We start living others’ dream and stop thinking about what we once dreamt of. I, myself can be the perfect example. Believe it or not, just 5 years ago, I was telling my best friend, Mei Kuan, that one day, she’ll see me walk up the stage and receive an award for the Best Actress. I truly believed in that dream. I wanted to be a TV presenter and I don’t think I’ve told many people this simply because… I find it embarassing. I don’t think it’s right that I find pursuing a dream embarassing. And now I’ve totally dropped that ambition of mine because I don’t think I can do it. I’m contented with my current life, but I find that I’m slowly losing a purpose. I don’t know what I want in life. I always tell myself “I don’t have what it takes to be a TV presenter.” Now I’m stuck believing that’s true. There’s two sides to the coin though. Other commitments and goals have taken over this ambition now. And I’m quite settled in with my current life. Maybe one day I’ll wake up and find myself a new purpose!

That being said, I’m not completely aimless in life! At least for these few months, I have goals set for myself and that’s something commendable! =D These goals don’t exactly represent what I want in life but I feel it’s the right thing to do at the moment.

Back to today’s task, we’re told to envision our ideal life.

What would you do if you can never, ever fail? What would you do if you have unlimited resources, time or networks? What are your biggest goals and dreams? What would you want to achieve in your life? What is your ideal life? What is a life you can look back and be proud of living, and tell yourself “I’ve truly lived to my fullest?”

If I can never, ever fail, I would invest the money and time to groom myself into a better presenter. I don’t think many of you know about this, but I used to be in the school’s broadcasting unit, took part in various competitions (crosstalks, debates, elocution in all three languages) and won. In 2006, I even took up the role as the co-host for the annual school concert. Although I lacked confidence at the time, I was proud to be part of it and I loved every moment of it. I would take part in auditions and competitions, just so I can relish my dream. And to think that I’ve completely deviated from that dream makes me… empty.

If I have unlimited resources, time and networks, I would start an egg-themed restaurant named “Ninja Egg”. =D This sounds odd but, I have had special connection to eggs since young. -.- I love eating eggs, was nicknamed Egg, and always associate myself to them. Kooi Khin and Mei Kuan would be my partner. Together, we would expand the business. They would be living their ideal life, and I would be living my dream. We’d be perfect together.

I’d join singing competitions too! Just because it’s an experience of a lifetime. Okay, maybe I should put this into my bucket list of 101 things to do before I die.

If I can never, ever fail, I’d put my heart and soul into SP Rovers. I want to see the club grow. It changed me for the better and I know it will do the same to the others. It’s one of my biggest regrets not being able to change its current state.

Financial wise, I don’t need to be very rich. Or at least I would belong to mid-high income group. A stable income would mean I’m doing good for my business. =D Most of my income would be passive, as I’d learn how to invest. In the ideal life, I wouldn’t be trading time for money (which many of us do). I’d be living in a condominium or even better, a landed property in Singapore (why not?), my parents and brothers would move in with me if they’re willing to. I’d leave it up to them. My brothers then wouldn’t have to commute between Johor and Singapore each day which sucks their time and energy out of them. I want to be able to give my nephews and nieces a good education. This is what I would do to repay my brothers for supporting my (very expensive) education. And because I’d have unlimited time, I’d teach them personally. I’d spend all my time being with my family to make up for the time I wasn’t with them these three years.

I would travel all around the world. Everytime I visit a new place, I get to learn about its people, its culture, its stories. And before I turn 30 (the age limit for most working holiday schemes), I would go on many, many working holidays. The first would be New Zealand. While travelling, I want to help the underprivileged whenever I can. I would volunteer abroad (Ecoteer). One of the first places I would visit would be Laos. I’ve seen Miao Zhen doing it, and she inspires me. I’d also advocate living a sustainable life.

I hope to learn more like how I used to in secondary school when I had plenty of time up my sleeves. Right now, I have so many things I want to learn but I haven’t gotten the time to. I feel like I’m only living up to others’ expectations. I want to continue latin dancing, relearn knitting, pick up Adobe Illustrator… so much more! I would do all of these if I have the time! I can achieve so much more, if only I am persistent enough.

By then, I would also be healthier and be in a better shape. I would’ve completed a few marathons, all under 5.5 hours (I took 8 hours for my first). I would eat better, totally ridding oily and unhealthy food out of my diet.

I haven’t gotten everything covered, especially in spirituality. Not an idea how an ideal life from the spiritual aspect would be. To be achieve the ideal spirituality, one has to connect to his/her inner self. That means, knowing what you live for and the reason of your existence. Cheemology. I don’t know what I’m living for. The other night I spent around one hour typing random sentences, just to bring myself to a purpose. 80 bullet points later, nope, haven’t found anything. Nothing pulled my heartstring when that’s supposed to happen.

Whoa. I’ve been reading and rereading this article, only to find more things to write each time. It was hard in the beginning. It was even harder when three paragraphs of text went poof no thanks to Blogger’s auto-save feature. At least now I can see what I want my ideal life to be and that’s something to work towards. As for the first dream… I’m not sure. I’ve already lost it and I have put it behind me. Perhaps the ideal life doesn’t have to be perfect, as long as I live with no regrets, that’s enough. That being said, I should stop holding back and start stepping out of my comfort zone.

The Challenge So Far

I went out for a jog today. =) Jurong Lake is such a magnificent place. It’s so quiet and serene. I closed my eyes for a moment and it felt good. I thought about my ideal life. Thought about my life purpose. And thought about nothing. Nothing at all~ Just the “nothingness” I need. =D

My 30-day action plan is working great! I realised I’m more focused with my goals set for the month. I might have to learn to say “no”. I hope that’s right choice.

Project Orion is confirmed! I’ll be going to Setiu, Terengganu for a turtle conservation project this coming June. Excited! The disappointing thing is, due to unforeseen circumstances, Nicholas isn’t going with me. But I see this as an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone! I’m embarking on a 2-week project with total strangers I haven’t met before (except the expedition leader)! Meeting new people plus once in a lifetime experience, I LIKE! Seeing turtles has always been on my wishlist but I haven’t gotten around doing it. Too many wants, too many distractions!

I’m going for a camp tomorrow at Pulau Ubin. Will be teaching a group of secondary scounts pioneering and navigation. Heh heh heh. Quite nervous. I wonder if they’ll be pro-er than me. =.= My 3 years as a Rover < their n years as cub scouts and/or scouts. Nonetheless, I shall enjoy teaching them! I realise I like to be surrounded by kids. Hee. And I like to be called “cher” too. “Cher~ cher… CHER!” XD *syok sendiri*

This is such a long post. I can’t believe I haven’t blogged for years (literally). Alrighty, going to bed! BYE PEOPLE! BUAI~

Labels: 30DLBL

Tuesday, May 03, 2011
30DLBL Day 1 - Your Life Wheel

Day 1 is the first day of the 30 days ahead. With the start of every journey, it’s important to know where we are starting. It’s like traveling from destination A to destination B – you have to first know where you are (A) to get to where you want to be (B). Hence, Day 1 is about getting clarity of your life right now. To do that, we’ll be using the life wheel.

Image © TPEB

1. Studies (7/10) - I feel that I have the capability to achieve more. My CGPA is 3.686, which is already above average to many. But don't forget, this is a very subjective matter. I could've done more to achieve a higher GPA. I haven't been putting in as much effort as I used to be. The time when I did my best was in Year 2, when I got onto the honour roll. Later in year 3, I guess I just went to school each day without a purpose. I got a C for Art Direction because I wasn't doing good for it, so I gave up altogether. And I'm feeling bitter over the others who are awarded Diploma with Merit. It's not healthy.
2.  Finance/Wealth (6/10) - The past few months have been good in terms of finance since I've been working part-time. But I think working has interfered my personal life. I had to choose between personal growth and working because money gives me the flexibility to fulfill my wants. I might have too many wants - buying a new MacBook Pro ($1.6k), travelling (Project Orion - $400+, Cambodia/Vietnam trip - spent $200 on flight ticket so far)... yep, that's all. I earn rougly $200-300 per project. Each project takes 3-4 days. At the same time, I'm still getting allowance from my brothers, albeit lesser. I'm using the allowance given to fulfill my wants. I don't think that's right. I could've used my work allowance to support myself financially though. Confused about this. Oh, I just opened a monthly savings account for myself. So each month, $50 will be automatically deposited from my existing account to that account. If I don't touch the money, I would be able to save $600 a year!
3. Health/Fitness (4/10) - DEFINITELY UNHEALTHY! I deserve the ratings. =o=... Barely exercising since completing a marathon in Dec '10, not eating right because I don't think I'm fat (good self-image, heh, but now I can totally feel my spare tyre *gasps*), sleeping late every night doing god-knows-what... and the list goes on.
4. Social/Friends (8/10) - I'm quite content with my current social circle. Although I had to rebuild a social circle 3 years ago, I'm doing rather well by now. I have a group of close friends whom I hang out with regularly and who teases me as always (*points to Bryan and Kenneth*). I'm still keeping in touch with secondary school friends but I think I can do more, especially with... my hubbies. I've been meeting new people recently from my roadtrips and work. That feels good. =)
5. Family (5/10) – I'm closer to my family now despite studying abroad. But I still have problems expressing myself freely. I hold back myself sometimes. I think I put my family as the last due to other commitments. For example, I rarely stay at home, even if I go back Johor, I don't stay for more than 3 days. My niece has been telling me to stay and it makes me feel awful. =(
6. Romance/Love (10/10) – Giving this a 10, because... it deserves a 10. =.= It's my first relationship and it's been good so far. We have our ups and downs but most of the time, I feel happy just thinking about it. Yay.
7. Recreation (10/10) – HAVING TOO MUCH FUN IN FACT! Roadtrips, gatherings, games, etc. etc.!
8. Contribution (1/10) – Contribution to the society. Sadly to say, I haven't been contributing to the society, what more the world. The other "beneficial" camp I joined was for Y Camp, organized by YMCA and Cabin Club camp where I gained much invaluable experience. It's something that has been on my mind for very long but haven't gotten to do it. Laziness and procrastination being reason number one.
9. Personal Growth (6/10) – I'm still not achievning my highest potential. There's more I can do. SP Rovers was a revenue where I could've achieved my highest potential. I think I wasn't strong enough to keep at it... Right now, my mind tells me to stay away from it. I'm shifting my focus to my design works. I'm not exactly good, but at least it's an interest that I've had for years. People tell me I can do it, so I think I should continue pursuing this interest.
10. Spiritual (4/10) - The question asked for this segment is: "How in tuned are you with the universe/your higher self?" Hmm. That's a tough question. I gave myself a 4 because... 5 is the passing rating. I don't think I pass and 4 is slight below 5... Religion-wise, I don't pray like my parents do, but there're core principles that I strongly believe in. Those principles can be applied across all religions, whether you're a Buddhist, a Catholic, a Muslim, etc. E.g. filial piety, not to hurt others, among others. If we go further in, where the spiritual aspect is concerned, I'm not yet in tuned with my higher self. Being in tuned with my highesr self, meaning, having a life purpose, understanding why I exist and why I am here in this world. Two days ago, I spent the whole night thinking about my life purpose. After going through 70 bullet points of possible answers, I have yet to find it. I'll attempt to do it in another sitting.
11. Self-image (6/10) – 6 upon 10, because, again, 5 is the passing rate and 6 is slightly above it. I value myself as a person. I don't think lowly of myself. Not hurting myself is one of the ways of loving myself. I believe in my abilities but lately I've been doubting myself a lot. I haven't been very confident as I used to be. Others' opinions affect me more than ever. That is why I'm giving myself a 6.

Which are your lowest scoring areas and why?
"All 11 segments are equally important in living your best life. Some people may think they can just ignore 3-4 segments and score a 0-1 there – but it doesn’t work that way. Whenever there’s a part of your life that is blocked (or put on hold), a part of you is blocked too."

Contribution (1/10) - It's always on my mind but I never got around doing it. It's something I deem non-urgent. *guilty*

Spiritual (4/10) - Thinking about my life purpose and my existence has never bothered me till now. I'm so caught up in paper chase that I haven't slowed down to think about what am I living for. I do think about it sometimes, but I haven't found the answer.

Health/fitness (4/10) -I scored this low because I think I'm in denial. =.= I don't think I'm fat (I still think so!) so I don't look after my diet. I used to avoid oily food because I was overweight. I also used to exercise regularly so that I could lose weight. I eventually lost 8kg after years being overweight. Now that I have a normal BMI, I jog occasionally, but it has gone... stagnant after the completion of my virgin marathon. =.= It was also when I started my internship. Internship has taken up so much of my energy and time that I stopped exercising. And then it became a routine. *shrugs*

Family (5/10) - Family is the aspect that I always put on hold because I always tell myself, my family will be there, no matter what. I'm in Singapore most of the time. To be with my family means I have to go back to Johor. Going back Johor sounds like a chore. Commuting takes up almost 2-3 hours of my day, from packing to waiting for the bus to queueing at immigration customs. 

Are you happy with your wheel?
Not really. If I were to stick with these scores forever, I would die in regrets, especially my score for family (5/10). I want a change. I can do so much more but why am I stuck at this stage? First things first, I'm gonna learn how to say no to Quadrant 4 activities - not important and not urgent. One of them, curb my Facebook (haven't been on Facebook for 2 days! *proud*) and TV addiction.

Part 3: Action

What are your biggest priorities moving forward to achieve your ideal 10/10 wheel?

I'm still distance away from the ideal 10/10 wheel (10/10 is the ideal life), so I shall prioritise on just a few for now, mainly family, health/fitness and personal growth.

Contribution aligns with what I'm doing next month - Project Orion, a turtle conservation project. =) That shall my strategy to up that score. Spirituality is the reason why I'm doing this challenge - to discover my inner self and to find out what I really want to do with my life. With this, I'm rearranging my list of goals!

In order of priority:
Family

1. To spend in Johor at least 4 days a week.
2. To bring Jamie out every evening when I'm home.

Spiritual

1. To complete this challenge.
2. To discover my life purpose at the end of the challenge. Achieved!

Personal Growth

1. To spend 5 hours a week on Photoshop. This goal will be integrated with Goal #2.
2. To set up an online portfolio.
3. To complete character development for Recycle Factory.
4. To work towards Cambodia/Vietnam trip.

Health/Fitness

1. To exercise 3 days a week and to increase mileage.
2. To complete a 7-day detox diet. Dropped the goal due to time constraints and the lack of resources.

Contribution

1. To achieve the most out of Project Orion.

The Challenge So Far

Besides this 30-day challenge, I'm cultivating the habit to be an early riser. It's been 2 days since I sleep at 11pm and wake up at 7am. It's for my health and to increase my productivity in the morning. I'm not sure if it's really that good of a habit, but I'll try.

So far, the challenge has been a breeze. I haven't met with any obstacle yet, but to execute the plan, I have to forgo a few events, which were once important to me. I know it's the right decision to do.

I'm still optimistic at this stage, let's hope the optimism persists till the last day! =) Chai Yen, JIAYOU TOO!

Labels: 30DLBL

Live a Better Life in 30 Days Challenge

Hello everyone! What a surprise to see me here, isn't it? =D I was contemplating to stop blogging altogether because this blog no longer serves its purpose as a life documentary with other alternatives, such as photo albums on Facebook. So, why am I here today? I'm embarking on a 30-day challenge to live my best life and to discover my inner potential (wah cheemology siol)! I'll document my daily tasks on this blog. More details below.

I've been thinking a lot lately, with all the free time up my sleeves. Truth to be told, I haven't been doing much since graduation. A normal week to me would be spending 3 days on work, the rest of the week spent doing practically nothing. On those days, I would go back to Johor, either sleep through the day or scroll down Facebook news feed, hoping miracles will happen. That is not the life I would want for myself. I have almost half a year after the end of my last semester in SP and this is the time I should be fulfilling whatever dreams or goals I have for myself. Instead, I'm rotting away. I have had enough with work, earned enough money to reward myself with a few roadtrips and to give part of it to my parents. =) Now it's about time to do something before I decompose into a puddle of water! D=

The challenge I've taken on is called "Live a Better Life in 30 Days Challenge". It's something I found from The Personal Excellence Blog. I've been reading the blog for a week now. Reading these self-help articles reminds me how unenergized, tired and aimless I am. That's when I found the challenge.

Quoted from Celestine, the blogger and coach:

For the entire month(30 days), I’ll be conducting a 30 days Challenge To Live A Better Life (30D LBL). What’s going to happen is I’ll share a task every day on the blog, a task which will move you towards living a better life. These are not gimmicky tasks – they are important tasks that will improve our lives for the better. Each of them embody the principles I share here at the blog to live your best life. Each task has been specifically created to drive you on the path of self-discovery, conscious living and personal growth. I have personally designed/set each of task and have also done them myself, so I know they have their intended effect.

As with anything that creates real, long-term change in life, each task will take time to think through and digest – from 1-2 hours every day. While this may look like a lot of time, this is a valuable investment of time that will move your life to a better place at the end of the 30 days. What random activities do you spend every day that you can cut out for this? Facebooking? Twitter? Watching TV? Doing things for others? Are they more important than you living a better, more conscious life? Many 30DLBL participants have told me how just doing the tasks from the first few days have already made them feel lighter, clearer, awakened, more focused and more proactive about life. They already feel motivated about what’s ahead of them, vs. previously. It’s amazing just witnessing and hearing about their changes.

This is not a race. This is not a competition, even though it’s framed as a challenge. This is a movement to change your life for the better, to enable you to be better than who you are, to move you to greater heights in life.

This motivates me. Good to have someone guiding me along the way. I've gotten Chai Yen to do this with me and we're committed to this. I'm a little worried as I have to commit myself for the next 30 days, but if it's really life changing, 1-2 hours a day is nothing. =)

I'm currently on Day 1. For Day 0 (which was yesterday), I set a few goals and drafted a 30-day action plan as part of the pre-work. The more goals I set, the further I'm stretching myself and the richer the experience will be at the end of the month.

My goals:
Personal growth

1. To complete character development for Recycle Factory;
2. To spend 5 hours a week on Photoshop (used to be a daily routine but I've lost it due to school commitments. I wanna get back on track.), and;
3. To set up an online portfolio.

Health

1. To exercise 3 days a week and to increase my mileage (haven't been exercising since running a marathon in Dec '10), and;
2. To get started on detox plan (HEHEHE. I've been constipating so often lately I have to do this!).

Family

1. To stay in Johor at least 4 days a week and to spend more quality family time (so please don't blame me if I'm not spending enough time with you as a friend >_< ), and;
2. To bring my niece out to the park every evening when I'm home (something I promised her).

Yep, 8 goals in total! I'm so excited already! I do hope I'll be able to achieve all of these! YEA! Let's get started!

Labels: 30DLBL

Tuesday, May 25, 2010
该学会的

1、学会冷血，只对对我好的人好，对某些人，简直就是浪费感情
　　
2、学会比以前快乐，即使难过，也要微笑着
　　
3、学会孤独，没有谁会把你当宝护着，世界总是孤单的
　　
4、学会坚强，其实一个人也可以活得漂亮，自己笑给自己看，自己哭给自己听
　　
5、学会忍耐，该闭嘴就闭嘴，该沉默就沉默
　　
6、学会珍惜，知心的朋友已经不多，如果再走，就真的只剩下自己了
　　
7、学会视而不见，恶心的东西选择忽视，厌恶的东西选择屏蔽，不会再有人让我不快乐
　　
8、学会满足，所谓知足常乐
　　
9、学会独立，不能再一味的麻烦别人，自己的事自己做
　　
10、学会长大，不能再那么任性，那么幼稚，那么孩子气
　　
11、学会认真，认真的对人，认真的对事

12、学会慎重，不该认识的人不要认识，不该插手的事不要插手